Voice of the DBA

Tag: life

  • Daily Coping 16 Sep 2020

    I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

    Today’s tip is to aim to be good enough, rather than perfect

    This has often been how I’ve tackled my job. I do the best job I can, but I also need to get things done more so than constantly re-evaluating and refactoring something. My view has been that we can find time if this is important.

    I know that can be a bad technique with regards to performance in code. Lots of issues in software can be traced to poor decisions that no one every makes a priority to fix. I’ve got more than a few of these in my past, and currently at SQLServerCentral.

    However, what I want to do is to the best job I can with the information and knowledge I have. That also means that I need to adjust my habits and patterns as I learn more. It’s easy to fall back on old habits in a hurry, rather than actually using knowledge of how to do something better.

    I am trying to do better there, but also trying to get things done which work, without berating myself for not making things perfect. Recently I had to put down baseboard trim (skirt boards) and some weren’t perfect with walls that had small concave and convex sections, and floors that weren’t level. I didn’t get perfection, and that was OK.

    Plus, caulk and paint will fix some minor issues.

  • Daily Coping 15 Aug 2020

    I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

    Today’s tip is to avoid saying “I ought to” or “I should” to yourself.

    My wife has reminded me of this for years, to avoid using “should” as it is a cognitive, or thinking, trap. I remember this every time I hear myself using should, either to others or to myself.

    As a result, I’m working to either decide to do something, or to let it go. I might drop it on a list for later, but I’m trying hard to not say I should do something. Do it or don’t.

    I’m better at this with home projects and chores. I don’t try to set myself up with an excuse. I’ll just tackle something or defer it with certainty.

    I still have work to do here with my job. I have too many “I should do xx today” conversations with myself.

  • Daily Coping 14 Sep 2020

    I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

    Today’s tip is to notice the things you do well today, however small.

    I live on a horse ranch, and there is never a shortage of work. While I do enjoy the break from sitting at a computer, I’m glad I don’t do that type of work every day. It’s hard, and gets harder on my body every year.

    There’s something strangely satisfying by accomplishing a physical task well. I take a lot of pride in being able to build software or deliver a presentation online, but it feels ephemeral.

    Shoveling a stall clean, or some other mindless task brings me a good sense of accomplishment. Yesterday, this was fixing fence. We have vinyl wires for horse fence, and those will break at times. It’s not hard to fix them, but it does take some attention to get a new line spliced in and tight.

    I planned on fixing a couple spots I’d noticed while feeding Saturday and ended up finding 3 more. I think I did a good job, since my wife noticed the fence was whole Winking smile

  • Social: Privilege

    I ran across the Privilege challenge on Facebook. A friend posted it, and I took a minute to watch it. I ended up with 4/10 fingers still up. Not bad for a minority.

    In case you think this is just some liberal thing, I actually found this reported on Fox News with a link to the video when I searched.

    I recognize in many cases I don’t put myself in positions that would get me into trouble. I’m cautious and conservative by nature, and I don’t go out late, don’t make disturbances or trouble, and am very careful when traveling. I think about where I go and when.

    Because I have to. Not because I want to, but because it potentially could get me into trouble.

    Not likely to, but could. I do actively have this in mind.

    I’ve slipped into the white American world for much of my life. My Mom is white, I’ve been economically successful, I tried to blend in, and I try to pass. As a result, I’ve been in conversations and situations where whites, law enforcement, those in power, etc. have denigrated or actively abused people of color or women.

    I worked in a bar where the police were often used to harass, prevent entry to, or expel blacks. Why? Prejudice. I’m somewhat embarrassed I didn’t stand up for others. It felt bad, but I was looking out for myself. Police were happy to comply and complain about and support, the desire to discriminate.

    I’ve been in discussions with management where they were against hiring minorities. Often when we get down to the last 2-3 candidates, I’ve heard discussions that we should pick the white man because he fits in better than the colored person or woman.

    I’m privileged in many ways. I’m a man, I’m financially successful, and I act and speak in a way that fits in with what’s expected in the US. Maybe one other thing that stands out to me is my name. No prejudice often when someone gets a note from me or sees my name in print.

    I’m also not so privileged in some ways. I am a person of color. I’ve been harassed by government officials. I’ve had people give me poor looks, step away, or refuse to touch me. I’ve had people drop change on a surface so as not to give it to me, when they didn’t do that to the person in front of me.

    There could be other explanations for these situations, but collectively, they always serve to remind me that I’m different from many others.