Voice of the DBA

Tag: life

  • Forgiveness

    We are frail, fragile creatures. I think this is one of the main reasons I push for and try to work in an agile, DevOps style of development. I know that I make mistakes, as do others. My goal is often to ensure our system, our process, our way of working can transcend those mistakes and we can still be effective. We can use automation and regular examination of what works and what doesn’t to ensure our system works well and isn’t overly dependent on one person.

    Part of dealing with mistakes and failures is learning from them. Not only do we need to learn ourselves, and avoid repeating mistakes, but we also need to learn to forgive others. I thought about this as I was reading Derik Hammer’s post on Active Forgiveness. In his post, he covers the situations where we acknowledge mistakes without a punishment. Instead, we forgive the act and go to work on finding ways to prevent the same situation from happening in the future.

    I think this is one of those concepts and practices that are very difficult for most leaders, and maybe more followers. We don’t want to excuse the behavior, and we certainly don’t want to tolerate this in the future. What we want is for this person, and others, to learn from the mistake and work to prevent it in the future. What often happens is that we blame the person, we’re glad we’re not the person, and we may not learn a lesson because we think that we wouldn’t make the same mistake.

    Throughout my career I’ve seen the same mistakes occur over and over. Sometimes the same person makes a mistake again, but often different people make the same mistake because there wasn’t a product retrospective where everyone learned for the future. Having a blameless meeting where discussions take place, mistakes aren’t minimized, and everyone learns is hard, but it is important if we are going to improve our teams performance over time.

    I’d encourage you to try to find ways to learn from failures and grow. Forgive others actively, but don’t minimize the mistake. Hopefully you can also help your management learn to do this.

    Steve Jones

    The Voice of the DBA Podcast

    Listen to the MP3 Audio ( 3.1MB) podcast or subscribe to the feed at iTunes and Libsyn.

  • The Linux CoC

    This is a busy time of year for me, with lots of conferences and other events taking place. It’s busy most years, but this past October was especially busy in my life. I’ve been in New York, London, and Hong Kong during the month, which is quite a spread of time zones. It’s been a mix of work and pleasure, and I agreed to all these trips, so I can’t complain. In any case, it’s both an exciting set of trips and a daunting set, and I don’t know if I’d want to do that again.

    In my travels, I noticed some press about a new Linux Kernel Code of Conduct. This is a change from the original Code of Conflict that Linus Torvalds published. I’m not sure he adhered to his own words from the reports I’ve seen over the years about his comments to developers. In any case, he signed off, though not everyone likes the new code of conduct. I don’t know enough about the issues, but I do realize that not everyone behaves well towards others, especially in this business.

    In any case, I go to lots of conferences. I meet lots of people, and see lots of different situations play out between attendees, organizers, venues, and speakers. For the most part people are fairly well behaved and treat each other respectfully. That’s not always the case, which is why many conferences and organizations have adopted some Code of Conduct that should apply to those that attend events, are members, etc. I do think this is a good idea, as it gives us a common framework where we can evaluate behavior as well as debate future changes.

    Last week PASS has their annual Summit, with their own Anti-Harassment policy. While I haven’t observed any actions that would violate the policy, I have had friends report they have experienced these types of behavior. I’ve had friends ask for an escort over concerns of potential behavior. It’s sad that this happens in the world, but it’s a reality. I’m glad that organizations are trying to move in a direction that protects those that feel harassed or threatened.

    It’s likely that there will be overreactions, reports of misunderstandings, and similar issues. Certainly some people want the freedom to behave as they see fit, where they don’t believe they are doing anything wrong. I understand that, but ultimately I also believe that it would be better to have a few people investigated or thrown out of a conference for no reason than have others suffer because they aren’t believed. I’m here for any of you that are struggling with abuse, and I hope others are as well.

    I hope that we learn to live by the famous quote from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure: be excellent to each other. If some of you can’t do that, then at least learn to live by Wheaton’s Law.

    Steve Jones

    The Voice of the DBA Podcast

    Listen to the MP3 Audio ( 3.6MB) podcast or subscribe to the feed at iTunes and Libsyn.

  • In Memorium

    I’m getting older, and as I remind people when I talk about careers and balance, I likely have less life ahead of me than behind me. I think about that as I try to enjoy life and appreciate the good and bad things I experience. I’ve had a wonderful life, and I can’t complain about anything. I wish everyone could say the same thing. My apologies in advance for the tone of this editorial.

    This week I added a new category to the Database Weekly newsletter: Obituaries. I had Andy Warren suggest this earlier in the year, but I neglected to do it then, mostly because it’s a sad reminder of loss. This past week we experienced another loss in the #SQLFamily, with the passing of Naomi Williams on Oct 30. There is a memorial fund set up for her children. I only briefly knew Naomi as a fellow speaker and the organizer of SQL Saturday #550 – San Antonio, but I enjoyed her enthusiasm and joyful nature.

    This wasn’t our only loss this year. Tom Roush passed away on Jan 30, 2018 (his book of stories is available). Robert Davis passed on April 2, 2018 (memorial fund), and I found out this week that Aaron Lowe had passed on July 23, 2018. I’m sure there are others, and while I don’t want to learn we’ve lost others, I’d appreciate anyone letting me know so I can remember them fondly.

    Life goes on, and we all must deal with losses. Those increase as we age, and that’s becoming a regular occurrence as days pass by. Whether it’s someone I’ve shaken hands with or an individual famous in for some aspect of their lives, death is something that I see far too often.

    Many of these are sudden, unexpected, and unpreventable. However, a few aren’t, and I’d like to ask all of you to ensure you help others where you can. Suicide has taken a few people I have known, and if any of you are struggling, please seek help. If you know someone struggling, please refer them to a suicide hotline. If any of you ever need to talk, I’m here as are many of your friends and family. We have enough tragedy in life, so please don’t withdraw completely.

    This is a sad week for me, but I’ll toast to my current and passed friends at the Summit with fond memories, enjoying the moments we have and and will have in this life.

    Steve Jones

    The Voice of the DBA Podcast

    Listen to the MP3 Audio ( 5.1MB) podcast or subscribe to the feed at iTunes and Libsyn.

  • Off for a Holiday

    This has been a crazy month, and it’s getting crazier. So far I’ve been to these places this month:

    • Washington, D.C.
    • New York City
    • London

    Today I’m in Chicago for the SQL in the City Summit. I flew in yesterday, prepped, and today is the event. It’s exciting, and I’m glad this is the end of the Summits because I fly home late tonight, arriving around 10.

    That gives me 12 hours to get home, unpack, repack, get back to the airport before a 10am flight to Hong Kong. I probably need to sleep in there as well.

    I’ve never been, but my wife and I booked a short trip, so I’ll be gone for the next week, taking a break from my travels with a more travel, but it should be exciting.

    Enjoy Halloween without me.