Tag: syndicated

  • Vote for me at SQLBits

    SQL Bits XII is coming this July to Telford in the UK and voting is underway for sessions. I’ve submitted a few and am hoping to get accepted to go back. You can help.

    You can log into the site and vote for the sessions you’d like to see. I’d prefer you vote for me because I’d like to go see friends and meet new people, but feel free to vote for the sessions you’d like to see.

    The ones I’ve submitted are:

    I’m not sure how long voting lasts, but take a few minutes today and pick your ten favorite sessions.

  • T-SQL Tuesday #53–Why So Serious?

    tsqltuesdayIt’s an interesting topic this month for T-SQL Tuesday #53. When I read Matt Velic’s invitation, I became intrigued. I like jokes. I like messing with people, and I was thinking about the recent April Fool’s jokes I’d written and those in the past that have been fun. I’m going to enjoy this.

    You can participate as well on any month. Just write a blog post and publish it on the second Tuesday of the month, linking back to that month’s invitation. Follow the #tsql2sday tag on Twitter or set a reminder and Google on the first Tuesday of the month.

    If you hurry, you can participate this month.

    Not So Serious

    The number one rule is know your audience. I’d be very careful who I might play this joke on. Note that this is also a bit of a abuse of privileged accounts.

    There are a few utilities from Sysinternals (owned by Microsoft) that are very useful for administrators. However they have also been very handy for practical jokes as well. Specifically I’ve used the PsExec and PSKill to amuse myself.

    I once worked in a group that had four administrators to run our systems. We lost one of our people to a better job and the corporate management decided to "promote" an internal employee to replace him. This new person was a "paper MCSE", who had studied for the exams. He was making an effort to grow his career and that was something to admire.

    However he was a jerk.

    He had the mistaken impression, as many people that have achieved something they set out to do, that they know more than they do. In this case, much of his "book learning" and boot camp work wasn’t appropriate for the real world. What’s more, when we would work with him to teach him how things worked differently for us, or explain why the book recommendation wouldn’t work, he was arrogant and dismissive of us.

    After suffering through a few months of his dismissive attitude and desire to avoid learning more in the real world, we decided to play a few jokes on him. We downloaded the sysinternals tools and also wrote a few scripts to command line launch tools with specific scripts or settings.

    One day when he picked up the phone to work on a call, we watched him start to connect to a server. Using PSList and PSKill, we’d kill his connection. Then we’d quickly use PSExec to launch another connection to a different server. At times we could be creative and redirect him to a development server instead of a production server. He’d swear he was fixing something for a user, but since he was on the wrong server, the user didn’t see the item working correctly.

    We were sporadic in our efforts, only causing issues a few times a day when we felt the problem wasn’t too critical. Eventually my manager realized what a few of us were doing and had us stop.

    It was a bit mean, and not something we should have done maliciously. I was young, and let myself get irritated. In later years, I out grew some of this childishness and limited jokes to people that I genuinely liked, changing settings, altering wall paper, creating aliases that pointed to different systems, and even unplugging people mice and connecting my own in an adjacent cube.

    Joking around at work can be fun, but remember that it shouldn’t be malicious and it can’t prevent people from getting work done. We certainly don’t want to get someone fired, as much as we might like to at times.

  • One week to SQL Intersection

    You still have time to grab the boss and convince him to invest in you. Show what you’ve learned in the last year. Tell him or her how some training you’ve taken, perhaps at a SQL Saturday, helped you at work. Make a good case to attend, and perhaps I’ll get to see you next week at SQL Intersection.

    It should be a good show, with Windows 8.1 changes, the release of SQL Server 2014 and Visual Studio 2013 recently, and lots of amazing speakers. I still can’t believe that I’ve been accepted to go sometimes because there are some great presentations to see.

    I’ve got three, Continuous Integration, High Performance Encryption, and Filestream, but I don’t know how many people I’ll actually present to when Paul Randal, Kimberly Tripp, Jonathan Kehayias, Brent Ozar, Bob Ward, Kevin Kline, Aaron Bertrand, Grant Fritchey, Andy Kelly, and more are going to be speaking at the same time. That’s without talking about all the great sessions to see in the other tracks.

    It’s spring time, the weather will be great, and I’m looking forward to a few days in Orlando. If you get the chance to come, I’d love to shake your hand.

  • Don’t Be an Arse

    In deference to my British employers, I’ll use their word.

    It constantly strikes me how rude, stupid, and unfriendly people can be on the Internet. I’ve been trying to avoid even reading comments on many places, including Facebook because I’m struck by how people behave. I haven’t completely succeeded and things still strike me at times.

    Like today, I saw this tweet.

    phil_a

    I read part of the article and then scrolled down to see the comments. This was what I saw:

    dbadetect2

    I get that you might not like the format. Personally I didn’t love it and didn’t read the entire article. However I also recognize that this was a story and designed to present information in a new style. Even the opening leads one, or at least me, to understand this is a story, not a quick technical article.

    dbadetect

    I suspect that bad behavior is often because of the anonymous nature of comments. Or maybe it’s because the writers are so far removed from others they feel no social contract to mind their manners. Perhaps it’s the ease with which one can toss off their first thought and condemn the rest of us to suffer through it.

    If you don’t like something, that’s fine. You get to pick and choose which pieces you want to read and which ones you like. However it’s also easy to just click away to something else and not leave a comment. I’ll paraphrase a few lyricists here (Jay-Z and Salt n Pepa),

    If you don’t like the writing, you can click back, close the tab, or turn away from the computer.

    Disclosure: I work for Red Gate, and we do want to sell software. That’s how we pay the bills and keep Simple Talk and SQLServerCentral running. We also are a part of the community. We want to teach you. We want you to get better at your jobs, and yes, we want to entertain you.

    Please let us know what you like and don’t like, but there’s no nefarious purpose to trick you. If you like our tools, or those of our competitors, and they are worth the price, we hope you buy them.