Author: way0utwest

  • T-SQL Tuesday #53–Why So Serious?

    tsqltuesdayIt’s an interesting topic this month for T-SQL Tuesday #53. When I read Matt Velic’s invitation, I became intrigued. I like jokes. I like messing with people, and I was thinking about the recent April Fool’s jokes I’d written and those in the past that have been fun. I’m going to enjoy this.

    You can participate as well on any month. Just write a blog post and publish it on the second Tuesday of the month, linking back to that month’s invitation. Follow the #tsql2sday tag on Twitter or set a reminder and Google on the first Tuesday of the month.

    If you hurry, you can participate this month.

    Not So Serious

    The number one rule is know your audience. I’d be very careful who I might play this joke on. Note that this is also a bit of a abuse of privileged accounts.

    There are a few utilities from Sysinternals (owned by Microsoft) that are very useful for administrators. However they have also been very handy for practical jokes as well. Specifically I’ve used the PsExec and PSKill to amuse myself.

    I once worked in a group that had four administrators to run our systems. We lost one of our people to a better job and the corporate management decided to "promote" an internal employee to replace him. This new person was a "paper MCSE", who had studied for the exams. He was making an effort to grow his career and that was something to admire.

    However he was a jerk.

    He had the mistaken impression, as many people that have achieved something they set out to do, that they know more than they do. In this case, much of his "book learning" and boot camp work wasn’t appropriate for the real world. What’s more, when we would work with him to teach him how things worked differently for us, or explain why the book recommendation wouldn’t work, he was arrogant and dismissive of us.

    After suffering through a few months of his dismissive attitude and desire to avoid learning more in the real world, we decided to play a few jokes on him. We downloaded the sysinternals tools and also wrote a few scripts to command line launch tools with specific scripts or settings.

    One day when he picked up the phone to work on a call, we watched him start to connect to a server. Using PSList and PSKill, we’d kill his connection. Then we’d quickly use PSExec to launch another connection to a different server. At times we could be creative and redirect him to a development server instead of a production server. He’d swear he was fixing something for a user, but since he was on the wrong server, the user didn’t see the item working correctly.

    We were sporadic in our efforts, only causing issues a few times a day when we felt the problem wasn’t too critical. Eventually my manager realized what a few of us were doing and had us stop.

    It was a bit mean, and not something we should have done maliciously. I was young, and let myself get irritated. In later years, I out grew some of this childishness and limited jokes to people that I genuinely liked, changing settings, altering wall paper, creating aliases that pointed to different systems, and even unplugging people mice and connecting my own in an adjacent cube.

    Joking around at work can be fun, but remember that it shouldn’t be malicious and it can’t prevent people from getting work done. We certainly don’t want to get someone fired, as much as we might like to at times.

  • Lobbying for Change

    I ran across a note recently on Twitter from Adam Machanic. He wrote:  Just spent most of the day working through a subtle PK issue – 1 bad row out of 18M. Would have killed for this. The item in question was a Connect item, one with almost 500 votes. It’s a good one, and I’d encourage you to vote for it. I know that it seems many of these items are never worked on, but some changes make it into the product, so I’d ask you to continue to vote for change.

    When Connect was first introduced, Andy Warren and I debated the value of the platform. On one hand it made good sense to directly feed information back to developers, but on the other hand, it was likely that those items that got more notoriety or votes might get fixed, even if they weren’t necessarily good ideas. The popularity of an item doesn’t necessarily mean it’s one that should be fixed in the product first. We also worried about one of the big problems of the platform and that is that a tremendous amount of noise of entered and it becomes hard to triage the submissions.

    As I watch Connect evolve, I can’t help but think that it’s been mostly a failure from my perspective, with a few notable successes, like Service Pack 3 for SQL Server 2005. There’s too much noise and too many items ignored. However I also do think that those items that get lots of vots do get more consideration from Microsoft. More votes doesn’t mean that the feature will get fixed, but I do believe the item gets talked about. (As an aside, please vote for more, final Service Packs)

    Personally, I think that raising awareness of possible suggestions or problems is a good idea. I’d love to see a top 10 list of Connect items from MS for consideration every month. Having them highliht some items they’re considering from the list might help focus attention from customers. I don’t think that’s likely, but I wonder if highly debated suggestions might be worth highlighting at SQLServerCentral. Would you like to see a Connect item of the week? Something you could vote on or even debate as a good idea? I would, and I’d consider adding them as a way to help improve the platform that I enjoy working on the most.

    Steve Jones

    The Voice of the DBA Podcast

    Listen to the MP3 Audio ( 3.0MB) podcast or subscribe to the feed at iTunes and Mevio . feed

    The Voice of the DBA podcast features music by Everyday Jones. No relation, but I stumbled on to them and really like the music. Support this great duo at www.everydayjones.com.

  • One week to SQL Intersection

    You still have time to grab the boss and convince him to invest in you. Show what you’ve learned in the last year. Tell him or her how some training you’ve taken, perhaps at a SQL Saturday, helped you at work. Make a good case to attend, and perhaps I’ll get to see you next week at SQL Intersection.

    It should be a good show, with Windows 8.1 changes, the release of SQL Server 2014 and Visual Studio 2013 recently, and lots of amazing speakers. I still can’t believe that I’ve been accepted to go sometimes because there are some great presentations to see.

    I’ve got three, Continuous Integration, High Performance Encryption, and Filestream, but I don’t know how many people I’ll actually present to when Paul Randal, Kimberly Tripp, Jonathan Kehayias, Brent Ozar, Bob Ward, Kevin Kline, Aaron Bertrand, Grant Fritchey, Andy Kelly, and more are going to be speaking at the same time. That’s without talking about all the great sessions to see in the other tracks.

    It’s spring time, the weather will be great, and I’m looking forward to a few days in Orlando. If you get the chance to come, I’d love to shake your hand.

  • Data Security Policies

    Does your organization have some policy around data security on mobile devices? Do your fellow employees care about data security? A new study says that most organizations don’t, and potentially that’s an issue.

    Many of us are data professionals, and we might have no idea how much data a user can access using today’s modern mobile devices. Potentially we can help them understand that the $500 smartphone they use can actually contain and access much more than $500 worth of data. If their device is the cause of a data breach, the cost could easily be much closer to $50,000 than $500.

    Security is always a big gamble, and rather than the old models of controlling all devices and limiting access, we need to learn to educate users, work with them to secure their devices and report losses quickly. The survey shows that most employees don’t even know how to report the loss of a device that might cause a data breach. At the very least, we can establish some procedures that will allow an account to be quickly turned off. And to ensure productivity doesn’t suffer, we need a procedure that also engages a new account for a user quickly.

    My guess is a lot of security issues could be handled quicker if we ensured that users were aware of issues and penalized for ignoring them, but made sure those penalties were balanced with an understanding that there it is inevitable people will make mistakes and accidents. Forgive mistakes and ask for reports of potential issues quickly.

    Steve Jones

    The Voice of the DBA Podcast

    Listen to the MP3 Audio ( 1.8MB) podcast or subscribe to the feed at iTunes and Mevio . feed

    The Voice of the DBA podcast features music by Everyday Jones. No relation, but I stumbled on to them and really like the music. Support this great duo at www.everydayjones.com.