Tag: coping

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to choose to smile today at something you encounter.

I tend to smile (and wave) at people. And horses. I’ll wave to the horses, which my wife thinks is silly.

I smile at things I see, though, and often it’s something a kid does. Kids are amazing humans, and they view the world in fascinating ways.

For me, I was smiling recently at SQL Bits, where I saw people hugging and shaking hands. It’s something I’ve missed at events, the closeness of friends. Most people asked others if it was OK, and for the most part it was.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to appreciate your hands and all the things they enable you to do.

My hands are critical. I learned to appreciate them quite a bit recently while trying to present at SQL Bits. I had injured my wrist and was wearing a brace to limit activity. When I went on stage and tried to use a mouse, I struggled because of the brace. I realized just how impactful an injury to my hands can be.

I use my hands to type for work, play guitar, coach kids, cook, and more. When I’ve been injured, I find my life impacted substantially.

I am grateful that my hands work well and have served me well across many years.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to tune into your feelings without judging or trying to change them.

This is an interesting idea. I saw this in an essay from David Perell, with the idea that we want to experience negative feelings (anger, sadness, grief), but let them wash over us and move on. I have been trying to do this.

On the day I saw this tip, I was feeling upset, sad, angry, and more about some of the community issues I’ve seen recently. Some of these were from empathy for others, some were because I needed to deal with things.

However, I also needed to both move forward with my day, and work on how to work with the issues. I’m torn how I feel about the issues, about people, and what I should do. All of those things are valid. I am not trying to change the feelings, but just deal with them.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to notice what is going well, even when things are difficult.

Overall my life is amazing. The problems I have are just minor annoyances, really, and I try to remember that. I’m not always successful, but my wife helped me remember that recently.

We took a trip to see my daughter recently. This was a long weekend, leaving Thur, returning Monday. A snow storm was scheduled for Monday, so my wife was concerned and wanted us to change and come back Sunday. My daughter has been having a hard time and didn’t come home for Spring Break, so I wanted to see her, support her, and get some time.

All of this was on my mind when we boarded a plane for a 945a departure at 910, and more on my mind when the 12 of us that got on packed up and left at 915. There was some issue with the toilet being broken, so we needed a new plane.

Not the end of the world, and as I fly a lot, usually a couple times a year there’s some issue. In this case, we had to change gates and wait for a plane. It was scheduled to depart now around 1110. The plane didn’t arrive at the gate until about 1045, and after unloading and cleaning, we didn’t load until around 1130. We moved away from the gate, went to de-icing, and things were looking up. Slightly stressed as I had a 2 hour drive on the other end and wasn’t sure we’d get dinner with my girl, but that’s a minor issue.

We got to the runway and then turned around and returned to the gate. Some sort of brake issue. I like brakes on planes, so I took it in stride. A little stressed, but OK. At the gate, they announced this might take some time, so they let people get off. I’d been upgraded (again, my life is easy and amazing), so my wife drank mimosas while I read a bit. I tried to relax, but it was hard.

They announced it was a sensor, so they brought people back on. Then this wasn’t the sensor, so more mechanics, and people off the plane again. We stayed on again, more mimosas for me wife, but stress for me. At this point I was wondering if we’d leave. If we pushed to Friday and left Sunday, that would start to feel silly.

My wife reminded me that we were getting time together, whatever happened. We could find a way to go out another week or have my daughter come home. We didn’t have any big commitments, so I should relax.

I tried, and it was a good reminder that things were going well. I was in a first class seat. I could have a drink (I declined, citing my diet), and I was with my wife on a trip. I didn’t relax much, but I did at least see the good things.

We did manage to finally go, six hours late, and we arrived at the AirBNB at 1130. Too late for dinner, but we had a great weekend with my daughter, and we stayed through Monday. Everything worked out.