Tag: life

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to give yourself permission to say no.

This is one of the skills I’ve developed in my career. In fact, at my 10 year anniversary with Redgate, our CEO pointed this out. I tend to say “no” unless I’m 100% sure I can deliver. In general, this is how I work.

I forgot this recently, and agreed to something I wasn’t sure I could fit in. I had to back out, which I hate doing. A good lesson, and this tip was a good reminder for me.

This doesn’t mean I just always say no to things. Instead, I try to gauge how confident I am, realistically thinking about my schedule and workload and home life. Then if there’s no reason I can think of that will cause issues, I’ll agree. If I have doubt, I say no, but offer to revisit or see if I can move things around.

I do try to work with and accommodate others, but I’m happy to say no if I can’t, rather than having to back out, or worse, fail to deliver later.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to focus on the basics, eat well, exercise, get rest.

Easy coping tips for me, for the most part, and something I do often. I make exercise a priority, and often am happy to go to bed early to get rest. I try to eat well, though I sometimes indulge myself too often as food comforts me.

However, with just 3 of us at home, and my wife being a little more careful with eating, I have been tailoring my cooking to be healthier. Shrimp Kabobs a couple nights ago, after a salad for lunch and a couple protein bars to get me through the day. A little yoga on a break from work, and no late nights.

Taking care of my physical self helps the rest of my cope on many, many days.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to plan a fun or relaxing activity and make time for it.

This was something I did this week, and it was a nice break. Typically I work hard on the weekends, tackling lots of chores. This past weekend I had to dissemble a winch to get it working again, cut grass, measure some things, clean manure out of sheds, and more. I was way more tired going into Sunday night than I was on Friday night as work ended.

Monday was a holiday, though my wife had things scheduled, as did a kid and his partner. However, they could all get Tuesday off. Since I tend to work semi-disconnected often, I traded Tuesday for Monday, worked during Labor Day, and then had plans Tuesday.

Our plans were a hike up the Manitou Springs Incline, which I’ve done before. I didn’t expect to get up this time, at least not anywhere near as quickly as the others. My plan was to enjoy the drive down, start up with them, and likely about halfway duck into the down trail and meet them at the bottom. These old knees don’t like stairs as much anymore.

Things worked out well, I enjoyed time with them, got some alone time when they kept going, and then we had a nice fun meal afterwards, which doesn’t happen often enough.

Glad we made the time for this.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to forgive yourself when things go wrong. Everyone makes mistakes.

This week has been a number of tips related to emotional growth, and this is one of them. It’s especially close to my heart right now.

Recently I got annoyed with my wife and snapped at her a bit. I played the childish “you do this, too” when she complained. We were mad for day or two, and then made up, but really, I was wrong. I let myself get upset over nothing, and then continued to let things grow, when I didn’t contain my emotions.

Perhaps worse, once we’d decided to talk again, I was beating myself up a bit for a couple days, which isn’t something I should do. That continues to make the issue about myself, and it isn’t helpful for me growing and learning how to better be in a relationship.

I thought about things a bit, I read a bit, and I’m working to let my mistakes go here, and at the same time try to avoid repeating them again.