Voice of the DBA

Tag: life

  • Daily Coping 30 Jul 2020

    I’ve started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

    Today’s tip is to catch yourself overreacting and take a breath.

    I didn’t remember to breathe recently, but fortunately my wife helped me.

    Our sink got clogged up recently. I cooked some breakfast, and afterwards, I threw out a few pieces of old chicken that were in the fridge as I started me cleanup. The sink clogged, and I couldn’t get it to work. I took a break, then ran to the store for a snake, which I tried to use. I ended up taking apart the lower U joint and getting all 20ft down into the pipe, but I still looking at this:

    20200715_173004_HDR (1)

    I worked on this for a few hours, doing a little work when I needed a break, but at 5pm, I couldn’t figure anything out. I was frustrated, upset, stressed as I had some deadlines at work, I didn’t get to exercise, and I still didn’t have a working sink for dinner.

    My wife reminded me to breathe, to relax, and forget about it. She called a plumber for the next day, told the kids to find leftovers, and took me out for dinner and a drink to relax. It was good to just stop worrying about a minor thing and just move on with life.

  • Daily Coping 29 Jul 2020

    I’ve started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

    Today’s tip is to get back in touch with a supportive friend and have a chat.

    While I was feeling a little down recently, as I wrote yesterday, I tried to get some connection with others. I reached out to a local friend, to try and schedule a lunch and get some support. We ended up talking on the phone for nearly an hour, which put me behind at work, but it was a good break and just talking through things was good.

    I’m glad I did it, and while I often reach out to others to offer support, I’m glad I reached out to ask for some this time.

  • Daily Coping 28 Jul 2020

    I’ve started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

    Today’s tip is to remember that if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.

    The last couple weeks I’ve been struggling a bit. Not as badly as in late March and April, but the sameness, the lack of travel and changing my environment has been tough on me mentally. I enjoy coaching, and have been getting to the gym 2-3 times a week, but I think I’m struggling with the realization that this isn’t going to get better after summer. We’re in this for the rest of this year.

    I knew that, but it’s sinking in. I can’t change that.

    I’m trying to remind myself that this isn’t that bad, there are people in worse situations, and things could be worse. I have a family, some financial security, and I have more time to do things around the house, chores and hobbies, than in the past. I should appreciate the this change in the world gives me some things that I’ve wished for in the past.

    That helps, though I think I need to keep reminding myself to change my view on a regular basis.

  • Follow Wheaton’s Law

    I’ve tried to live my life as someone that treats others well, respects them, and cheers for them to succeed. Even before I heard it, I think I was unconsciously following Wheaton’s Law (apologies for the slightly off color language).

    I think about this often in my life, as a minority in most places I go for work or in society. I’ve had a lot of success, I’m intelligent, am comfortable talking with people, and many things go my way. At the same time, I’m not any better than anyone else. I try to say hi to the facilities staff at Redgate in the same way I do with my fellow advocates. I may sit and chat with our cooks or cleaning staff just as I might take a moment to chat with a developer.

    With the dramatic changes brought about in our world by the COVID-19 pandemic, I have been thinking about the way that many people are interacting with those who work in much of the public world. Especially service workers, who these days may be deemed essential and are often the contact we have with lots of businesses, as cashiers, delivery people, and more.

    This article upset me. Many people that have the least power, the depend on their jobs the most, with few other options, are often treated poorly by the people they encounter. I’ve seen poor behavior in the past in many situations, but the current pandemic and the push back against wearing masks has made things worse.

    The entry level workers, those making low wages and doing many of the service jobs in our world, don’t deserve to be poorly treated because you don’t like the policy of some business. This certainly includes people doing manual work in our offices, acting as assistants, or some other non technical job. Treat other people well, as you’d want to be treated if someone didn’t like the way you were instructed to do your job.

    Steve Jones
    Listen to the podcast at Libsyn, Stitcher or iTunes.