Voice of the DBA

Tag: life

  • Social: Growing Up with the Dukes of Hazzard

    I grew up in the South. The capital of the Confederacy was a short drive from my house. We studied the Civil War.

    I watched the Dukes on TV, and enjoyed it. Many of my friends did and we laughed, joked, and wanted a car like that. We loved the horn, and when a friend’s Dad got a programmable horn that could play Dixie, we did it over and over.

    I thought many of the people thinking “the South will rise again” or embracing this as history were just showing some pride. I’ve visited the cemeteries of Confederate soldiers, even as an adult, with curiosity and understanding this is part of our history in the US.

    It is, but it’s also a racist icon and one that represents treason to me. We can study history and relegate the item to history, but I don’t think that we should display and celebrate that time. You may be proud that your ancestors stood up for that they believed in, but I’m not sure you should be proud of what they believed in.

    I used to tolerate and not think too deeply about people putting that flag anywhere. As I look at the world, which has both grown and regressed, and not grown, I can’t tolerate that symbol anymore.

    I had friends that embraced it. I also had people out there that physically threatened or assaulted me who proudly displayed it. I’ve had few physical encounters and some were not about race or skin color, but some were. In fact, all of the ones as an adult were.

    The Confederate flag in the US ought to be treated like the Nazi flag in Germany. It’s the symbol of traitors, of racism, and of losers of the Civil War. I can’t believe our military has tolerated this until 2020, but I’m glad they are removing it.

    I am, too.

  • Daily Coping 18 Jun 2020

    I’ve started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

    Today’s tip is to say positive things in your conversation with others today.

    I’m writing this a few days early, but there’s a lot of anger in the world lately. I’ve tried to really project more positivity. Not succeeding as much as I like, but I am trying to move forward, rather than revisit history.

    As I interact with people, I remember that. I have some disagreements with people, but I’ve tried to remember to complement them, and find the good in them. I saw some kids recently that I hadn’t see in a few years. I remembered to ask about their lives and then cheer on their successes. Express sympathy at the struggles (one graduated from high school, with no graduation), but turn this to positive and hope for the future and root for their college experience to start in the fall.

    It’s easy to complain, gripe, and be upset these days. It’s OK, and some of those feelings are acceptable, but remember to celebrate the good things.  There is always Some Good News in the world.

  • Daily Coping 17 Jun 2020

    I’ve started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

    Today’s tip is to take a photo of something that brings you joy and share it.

    I try to take a lot of pictures. It’s to capture memories of moments, of times with my family and animals. I have loved having a mobile device that makes this possible.

    Here’s a recent one. In Colorado, we’ve started to open slowly. One thing that has been allowed in some places is getting together with stable groups, so those that don’t change from meeting to meeting. That has allowed me to start coaching again, not for competition, but for a release and helping my team get ready for next season’s tryouts.

    We’ve had a couple practices a week, just kids, no parents, and we keep our equipment separate and clean.

    20200602_122239

    They’re kids, so I’ve blurred the image, but it was wonderful to see them, having some fun, hearing how excited they are and listening to their challenges.

    They bring my joy and touch my heart.

  • Daily Coping 16 Jun 2020

    I’ve started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

    Today’s tip is to find the joy in music today: sing, play, dance, or listen.

    I love music, and I covered some things in a few different tips (here and here).

    I also play. I sometimes have a guitar at my desk, and I work through different songs. It’s been a long time that I barely played, but this year I’ve rediscovered this, and especially during the pandemic. I find myself sitting outside in the evening after work in laying in bed and just strumming some songs.

    I follow Marty Music, and try to learn from him. Lately, I’ve been working on a bunch of Beatles songs, just enjoying playing them and getting family to sing along. A few I’ve gotten passable in the last few months:

    • Something
    • While My Guitar Gently Weeps
    • Norwegian Wood
    • In My Life

    Still struggling with Dear Prudence, as my fingers are apparently not as long as George Harrisons. My middle son has much better luck with that one.