Tag: words

aubadoir – n. the outworldly atmosphere just before 5 am, when the bleary melodrama of an extremely late night becomes awkwardly conflated with the industrious flourescence of a very early morning.

I haven’t seem 5am from the previous day side in a long time. I just don’t go out much, and almost never past midnight. However, I did have a late night recently after vacation. I flew home on a Sunday night, with a delayed flight. This has become all too common, but in this case it was tough.

I landed around 1230am. I got bags and drove home, getting into bed between 130a and 200a. I had a 9am flight, so I was up at 6am to pull out some laundry from my bag, throw in a few new clothes, and then head back to the airport.

Getting home and remembering that I had to be up in a few hours certainly had me feeling some audadoir.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

idlewild – adj. feeling grateful to be stranded in a place where you can’t do much of anything, which temporarily alleviates the burden of being able to do anything at any time and frees up your brain to do whatever it wants to, even if it’s just flickering your eyes across the passing landscape.

I get to do this regularly. I’m often stranded in planes, trains, cars, etc. where I can’t do anything. Even in airports. Certainly I could work in some of those situations, but I also recognize the fatigue I feel and the need to relax and try to take care of myself.

The drive from LHR to Cambridge is a little over 2 hours (sometimes more). When I get a car, and I’m not too tired, I can sit and watch the world go by. Sometimes thinking of things, sometimes letting thoughts just flip through my head.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

fitzcaraldo – n. a random image that becomes lodged deep in your brain – maybe washed there by a dream, or smuggled inside a book, or planted during a casual conversation – which then grows into a wild and impractical vision that keeps scrambling around in your head, itching for a chance to leap headline into reality.

I feel this most often with projects around the ranch. I’ll get an idea to build something, usually to make my life easier, but sometimes as a work of art, and in my mind, I’ll think about the exotic woods, the clever design, the neat ways to fasten things.

Then I realize that I can’t find time for many of the more practical things I’d want to do. I’ll never get to most of my ideas.

Maybe, however, I’ll tackle one or two. We’ll see. For now, lots of fitzcarraldo in my head.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

Ozurie – feeling torn between the life you want and the life you have.

I think many people feel ozurie often. I certainly had a lot of this in my younger years. I’d see the success, the partners, the adventures, the experiences others had and I felt torn. I wanted to change my life.

Today I don’t feel this. Perhaps It’s growing older and more settled, perhaps it’s appreciating the blessings and fortune I have had. My life is really amazing. Even the things that don’t go well, like broken planes or weather damage at the ranch, or a lack of sleep because of commitments are minor issues. I think this is beyond the life I wanted and I have it.

I hope you find that, too.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows