Author: way0utwest

Today’s coping tip is to avoid saying “I should” and make time to do nothing, or do something fun.

I’m writing this ahead of time, and I am doing this. I’m prepping for travel and vacation, and I’m busy. Lots of deadlines and things to get ready. However, this is also a day that I can go see a kid play volleyball that I used to coach. It’s an indulgence, and rather than saying “I should work more”, I’m doing that.

Today in real life I’m at IDC London, so I’m commuting through London and giving two talks. Not a day to do nothing or something that might be fun.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQL Server Central newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s coping tip is let go of other people’s expectations of you.

I think in general I’m not too concerned about what other people think of me, or expect me to do. I do, however, think that I can be a role model to others. I run SQL Saturday, I speak, I run SQL Server Central, and I coach kids. Certainly my own children see how I live my life as well and may emulate some things.

That leads to some expectations, and some responsibility, so it’s hard to not feel the weight of those expectations.

I haven’t found a way to let go, but I do let my feelings wash over me and let them go. There are times I might do something I’m not proud of, or that I think isn’t in character. Maybe I’m tired, hungry, or out of sorts in some way and I do/say/act in a way that I think isn’t appropriate.

I’ve learned to accept I’ll make mistakes and also to not dwell on those. I am also learning to apologize more, which helps me with the letting go of the feelings I have after making mistakes.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQL Server Central newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s coping tip is take your time. Make space to just breathe and be still.

An easy one today. I’m relaxing in Venice with my wife, and likely no real plans. I’m just wandering around.

We did this in Hawaii this summer, enjoying the beach and just sitting on the beach and looking, or floating in the ocean. Not talking, no agenda, just breathing and letting my mind wander.

I need to do this a bit more often on work days as well. It’s a good coping mechanism.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQL Server Central newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.