Tag: coping

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag. 

Today’s tip is to make uninterrupted time for your loved ones.

I have less of these now, with all the kids away from the house. However, my daughter has called a few times to chat. Often she takes time between classes, or shortly thereafter, but those are not always good times for me. I’m often working then.

However, I’ve made it a point to stop, not multi-task, and walk away from my desk when she calls. Focus on her, and enjoy the time.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag. 

Today’s tip is to thank three people you feel grateful to and well them why.

I decided to pick three people that make me think and widen my view of the world. I sent a note to each of them individually, but the gist is here:

Rie Merritt

I don’t get to sit and chat with Rie often, but over time, we’ve had some interesting chats. I really appreciate the way she has passion and advocacy for various aspects of life and work, trying to make the world better. At the same time, she’s rational and listens, willing to debate about things.

I especially appreciate her view as a woman in the SQL Family, as her experiences, her thoughts, and more help me to see the world in a wider way.

I’m grateful that I’ve known her.

Andy Mallon

Andy and I have run into each other at various events. He’s been a fun person, full of excitement and passion. He’s compassionate and has supported many causes that are also important to me.

He’s also very opinionated and very strong willed, especially around diversity and inclusion. We don’t always agree, but I do think he makes many valid points, and I think the world is better for having him in it, as is the SQL Family.

I am grateful for all the words we’ve exchanged.

Steve Rezhener

Steve runs the LA Data Platform group and their SQL Saturday, actually Data/SQL Saturday now. Steve has been a critic and advocate for SQL Saturday for years, and he’s often pushed me on how to view events, and how they’ve been managed in the past.

We don’t always agree, but I do appreciate his view and his passion. He helps me to remember that there are other ways to view the franchise than my own.

I’m grateful to Steve for the hospitality in LA, and the ways he challenges me.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag. 

Today’s tip is to give sincere compliments to people you talk to today.

I coach youth sports a couple times a week now. A lot of what I do is try to teach them something and get them to change how they play a sport. Much of this is criticizing and reminding them of things to do better.

However, I do try to remember and appreciate that they are getting better and they are doing things right. I made a special effort to do less criticizing and spend more time picking out the things they did well.

Easy for kids to get down on themselves when the outcomes aren’t what they want. Instead, I worked on telling them the parts of their actions that were good.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag. 

Today’s tip is to be gentle with someone who you feel inclined to criticize.

A friend got snagged by an Internet scammer and lost a bit of money. Not a ton, but enough to get angry and feel bad. I had felt this was a suspicious purchase, but I didn’t make myself known early enough. I was mad, too.

However, I just sympathized, apologized for not sayings something earlier, and listened to them get upset.

An easy time to chastise them, but better to be supportive.