Tag: coping

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is to take your time. Make space to just breathe and be still.

I’ve been practicing yoga regularly for about 8 years now. It has helped me in many ways, but one very unexpected way for me is that I appreciate breathing more. While I’ve been listening to instructors say I just need to breathe, and let me breath guide me, most of the time I’m worried about moving my limbs and finding balance.

However, the last year or so has me often stopping for a minute and just breathing throughout my life. Not just when I’m stressed, not just when I practice yoga, but I might sit at my desk and stop for a minute and just breathe.

I’m not good at meditation or sitting still for long. However, focusing on my breath for a minute or two, even while I might be looking at something, has been helpful to me.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is to release yourself from inner demands and self-criticism.

I know a lot of technical people that aim high in their lives. They want great code, they want smooth running servers, they want financial prosperity, they want bigger and better jobs, and success for their families. All things that can help drive someone forward in their lives.

However, it can be detrimental to your mental health to compare yourself to others at a point in time and evaluate your success by theirs.

I was thinking about this after hearing a friend talk about the challenges of recording a session for an upcoming conference. In this case, the person asked if I was getting a green screen, new mic, or any other improvement to my setup for the event. This individual felt pressure because so many speakers have been talking about OBS, StreamDeck, and other devices.

I wasn’t,  and I’m not. I certainly could improve things, but I need to decide what matters for me. I think what some people are doing is interesting, and I do think there might be ways to better build content and engagement for audiences, but I’m not driven to match what others do.

I try hard to set some goals, make plans, and work towards them, but I recognize that things go wrong, life gets in the way, and I need to both acknowledge when I make mistakes and can do better, while also accepting I may miss some milestones. It doesn’t do my any good to beat myself up inside.

Two quotes I keep in mind here:

• Man plans and god laughs – Yiddish saying
• Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans – John Lennon

The latter reminds me to keep moving on, and do things. Not just plan.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is to ask a trusted friend to tell you what they like about you.

Not an easy thing. Asking someone what they like about you. Easier to ask family, or a partner, but that’s not part of this coping. I don’t have a lot of really close friends, so I had to think about who I’d ask and haven’t necessarily had a lot of contact with lately.

I got this back: I like that you are calm, wise, thoughtful, efficient, friendly, and fun.

Kind words that make me smile.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is to look at photos from a time with happy memories.

I try to take a lot of photos, and I love the various services that often show images from previous years. A few I’ve enjoyed lately from last September.

Last August, we dropped my daughter off at college, which was a little sad, but also very exciting.

I went to London last year for work and my wife joined me. We took a side trip to Stonehenge.

Then at the end of the month, just about a year ago, I flew to Sydney for a couple days to run a SQL in the City event there. I managed an afternoon of tourism.