Tag: coping

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is to focus on the basics: eat well, exercise, and go to bed on time.

I believe in self-care. I’ve pushed myself without regard for my own well-being at times in my life, but I do it less and less, especially for work. As my wife has said many times, the things we do in technology usually aren’t “saving babies.” We’re pushing bits around for profit, and we don’t necessarily need to go above and beyond constantly.

Balance is important here. I try hard to take care of my physical body, my mental health, and my relationships, with efforts to reach out and touch base with those I care about. Each of those takes work, and in 50+ years, I’m still working out how to do this.

I’m better at taking care of my physical body. Not great, as my diet isn’t anything special. I’m a comfort eater, and I like food. However, I am working through being better more often than not.

For me, as I write this, I had a good day yesterday. Cooked some food at home, making reasonable choices for ingredients, limiting portions, and balancing different types of food. I drank lots of water, and I hit the pool for one of the last times this year.  I didn’t stay up late, relaxing with my wife and watching a little TV and getting to sleep at a reasonable hour to let me get 8 hours of rest before work.

I’d like to think I do this more often than not, which is good enough for me.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is to forgive yourself when things go wrong. We all make mistakes.

Things go wrong all the time. Especially at the ranch, where many things break, or get broken.

Recently I took a day off to work on some baseboard trim in the house. We had some work done in a couple rooms, and the old trim was taken out and tossed. It didn’t match the rest of the house, and it’s been something I wanted to replace. At $6 a foot for a contractor, who wasn’t thrilled with a 2 room job, and a material cost of $1.42 a foot for about 120ft, I decided to do this myself.

If you’ve done this, you know it’s not hard, but it’s not a piece of cake. Some attention to detail is needed, and some care. As I worked my way around the two rooms, I find the flor wasn’t quite level, and so sometimes the trim needed to bend over a slight rise or meet a dip. This resulted in a few joints not matching perfectly. Add to this that I cut a few pieces incorrectly as I got them down.

I know some imperfections get covered with paint or caulk, but as I got close to finished, I wasn’t happy with two pieces. Rather than get upset, I just pulled them out, cut new pieces, one I cut 2 or 3 times, and made things slightly better.

A small thing, but it’s a lesson I’ve learned from work and life that I will make mistakes. I should aim for, and work to, limit mistakes and try not to repeat them, but sometimes I do, and it’s not the end of the world. Move on, correct things as best I can, and forget about them.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is to free up time in your diary by cancelling any unnecessary plans.

I keep busy. In fact, I rarely take a day off from everything. If not work, I coach, I look to exercise most days, and even on weekends I look to tackle at least part of a project at the ranch.

That being said, I have started to try and find days where I don’t plan things. I might tackle less things, since I’m disinclined to just sit around, but I won’t make a goal for myself and I might just wander through part of a project or a chore.

I’ve also taken to cancelling plans at times to free up a few hours of life. Maybe I’ll cook something, or play guitar, or watch a movie, but when I have more than 3 scheduled things in a week, I might look to cancel one or two to find time to unwind a bit.

I did this recently, when my wife and I were scheduled to go out with a friend. With multiple things on our schedule, we agreed to reschedule and push things back a couple weeks.

Downtime is good, even if I don’t always want to take it.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is to be willing to share how you feel and ask for help when needed.

I struggle with this. I’ve grown up fiercely independent, even with family. I’ve had to work hard to make my way in the world, and I tend to try to do things myself.

However, I know that’s not completely healthy, and I need to get help at times. During this pandemic, I’ve tried to remember this, and during a particularly hard time recently, I just had to walk away from something and ask my wife for help. I almost didn’t, but I am glad that I did. It was a relief and good.

I need to do this more, and find ways to not only continue to support and help others, but also reach out and let others help me.