Tag: coping

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is to treat everyone you interact with as though they are a friend.

This tip is a part of my world and life. I try hard to greet people warmly and treat them well. Whether it’s the cashier at the gas station, the produce person restocking the grocery, someone walking their dog in a park, and certainly people I meet at events.

It’s easy to get annoyed by life, or to retreat. It’s easy to be wary of others. It’s easy to assume things about another person based on their appearance. We all do it. We all have internal voices that pre-judge people and situations.

We sometimes have good reasons to do so. However, no matter what you worry, try to treat someone you interact with as a friend first. Greet them, talk with interest, listen, and enjoy their company.

You can always walk away. That’s a skill worth developing as well.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is to send a positive message to someone you can’t be with.

I don’t see my middle son often. The oldest and youngest live at home still, but the middle one lives in another city and rarely comes home. He’s in the last year of university, he’s introverted, and very self sufficient. He wants to live his life, and I’m not a helicopter parent. I trust him to manage his life and handle things.

However, I also want to just let him know I’m thinking of him. He studies Japanese on his own, and I keep trying to brush up, so once or twice a week, I’ll just send him a question. Like:

お元気ですか

Just a note to let him know I’m thinking of him.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is to donate some unused items, clothes, tech, etc. to a local charity.

This has been something I’ve done a few times, and in fact, I had a few bicycles that the kids had outgrown in a shed. I tried to donate them recently, but I missed the donation hours, which had been reduced.

In writing this tip, I loaded those up and drove them down. This allows them to be used by someone else, at a low price (I donate to Goodwill) and this supports that organization’s efforts.

BTW, I saw a few friends renovating their kitchens or bathrooms. If you are doing this and have nice cabinets that you are just changing, consider donating to Habitat for Humanity. They will do the deconstruction if the cabinets can be resold.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is to breathe. In for a count of 3, hold for 3, exhale for 3, and pause for 3. Repeat for a few minutes.

I practice yoga regularly, and across a few years, I actually started to believe and trust that my breath mattered. Too often breathing is a secondary, albeit necessary, activity while exercising. We breathe because we have to, not because we consciously focus on it.

My wife suggested this, as something she does with her students when they get stressed with horses. Slow down and pause by breathing. Specifically, count to three as you breathe in. Then hold your breath for an equal count. Exhale for the same count, and then pause before you take another breath for the same count.

It’s surprising how much concentration this takes, and also how it will relax you and slow your heart rate. Take a few minutes and try this today.

For me, I do this regularly now, especially when I feel too busy and stressed, or I’m unsure of what to do next. I get the paralysis from too many choices at times, and stopping to breath for a minute or two can help me relax.