Tag: coping

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is to contact a friend to let them know you’re thinking of them.

When the pandemic hit, and we locked down travel and most interactions, I felt isolated. I started these tips back in March. I can’t believe I’m still doing these after 4 months. I also cam surprised how much they help me.

One of the ideas I had early on in March was to reach out to friends that I expected to see, but was suddenly separated from. I had it a point to reach out to 2-3 people every couple days and check on them. I picked up my phone, or Facebook, or email, and randomly hit a letter. I then picked a person and sent a “I’m fine, how are you doing” message. I was surprised how often this led to a 3-4 message exchange, taking up a few minutes of our day, before we both moved on.

I still do that, albeit a bit less, but I’m randomly checking on people, especially a few people that I know have had some difficulties and are struggling. I’d encourage you to do the same.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is to smile and be friendly, even when physical distancing.

I’m not out too much, and often when I am in a public business, I am wearing a mask. While I’ve looked at a mirror when I smile with a mask, it can be hard to tell if that’s what I’m doing.

However, I am at various outdoor places, without a mask. Whenever I am, I try hard to smile at more people. Wave, be cheerful, let them know there is still happiness in the world.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is to spend time wishing for other people to be free of suffering.

em·pa·thy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

As I get older, I try more and more to empathize with others. Put myself in their shoes and understand how they feel.

There is a lot of suffering in the world, all the time, but many people right now that have planned for the future, worked hard, put themselves in good situations, and with the changes of the pandemic, they are suffering.

Particularly, I think about many of the people I’ve met over the years in airports. Lots of them work in coffee shops, restaurants, bus drivers, and more. These are are people I used to see every month, sometimes every week. I know a couple of them are out of work. Furloughed or laid off because of a lack of business from travel.

For the few I personally know and have seen around town, I’m sure there are dozens or hundreds more in Denver. Likely thousands around the world that are suffering. Some might miss meals, some might have lost housing. Most, or all, are likely feeling a lot of stress from a situation that is out of their control.

I took a few minutes to sit and think about all the people I used to see in my travels that are hurting now. I hope they find a path through this pandemic world.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is to ask someone how they feel and really listen to their reply.

I know far too many people that don’t listen in conversations. They may have an idea of what you said, but really they want to do one of two things:

• get away and not talk
• get back to talking about what they want to speak to

I’ve been guilty of both of these, but I try to be better, and I try to listen to others more.

As a result, I tried this recently. My wife and I had dinner with a friend, and rather than impose my thoughts, I listened more. I did ask them about how they feel about the pandemic, and their coping, since their situation is much different than mine.

I didn’t give advice, or evaluate what they said, I listened and supported them, expressing sympathy for challenges, acknowledging things were hard, and enjoying the bright spots they pointed out.