I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.
Today’s tip is to ask someone how they feel and really listen to their reply.
I know far too many people that don’t listen in conversations. They may have an idea of what you said, but really they want to do one of two things:
- get away and not talk
- get back to talking about what they want to speak to
I’ve been guilty of both of these, but I try to be better, and I try to listen to others more.
As a result, I tried this recently. My wife and I had dinner with a friend, and rather than impose my thoughts, I listened more. I did ask them about how they feel about the pandemic, and their coping, since their situation is much different than mine.
I didn’t give advice, or evaluate what they said, I listened and supported them, expressing sympathy for challenges, acknowledging things were hard, and enjoying the bright spots they pointed out.