Tag: coping

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to send an encouraging note to someone that needs a boost.

I reached out to a friend recently, just to check on them and see how they were coping with life. This person has had a hard year. In this case, they responded with an issue that was weighing them down.

I send back a few notes to remind them of good things, and the things that I appreciate and like about this person. I empathized with their struggle and told them I was hoping they would continue to dream of the future and what they could make.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to look for the positive side of a challenging situation.

Recently I had a kid that I coach get upset with the amount of time she spent on the court. She is a player that is weaker in some areas, strong in a few, but struggling to find a place on this team. To be fair, we coaches struggle to find ways to use her. We do, but not much.

She was upset at a competition where she didn’t play much. I know how hard this is, and could see her body language in talking to her father. I’ve been that Dad and watched my kid sit on the bench for long periods.

I decided to make this a learning opportunity. I went over to the Dad and asked him to meet, saying I’d like to try and salvage her time with us. He agreed, and we met the next day, trying to help this kid see the reality, learn to be a part of a team, and give her ways to improve that might help. However, we also were honest that things aren’t likely to change a lot in the short term.

I love this kid. I’ve known her for 4 years and this is my second time coaching her. I wish her the best, but I also had to give the hard advice I’ve given my daughter in the past. A very challenging time, but I think it was worth the effort to try and make it more positive.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to thank someone for cheering you up in the last month.

Someone didn’t actually cheer me up. Well, certainly some people did, but it was more the memory of someone made me smile and brought a moment of joy. Actually, two people.

I’ve been to Australia twice and New Zealand once. Recently my wife and I were talking about the trip we took together down there, how much we enjoyed it, and some of the people she met (I’d known them previously). The memory of standing next to this guy made me smile:

Hamish’s joy and love for life is infectious, and I miss him. I am hoping New Zealand will allow visitors again and I can return.

The same week, Martin Catherall reached out on another matter, and my wife and I enjoyed time with him in Australia. Martin also has an infectious, happy demeanor, and a wonderful accent, that I enjoy every time we talk. Hoping to get back to Australia again as well.

Thanks to both of them for cheering my up this month.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to share what you are feeling with someone you really trust.

This is tough for me. I tend to be a little closed off and private in many ways, but I’ve learned to open up a bit. Part of this is growth, part is being a good partner, part is modeling what I hope my kids to better than me.

My wife is my partner. In many ways, she is the only person I “choose” in my life that is a constant. I didn’t choose my parents, I didn’t choose my kids, and I certainly don’t get to choose co-workers. I choose friends, but there often isn’t quite the same closeness.

I won’t share my feelings here, but I have been working to let my wife know more often when I am feeling when I feel it. It’s that last part I can struggle with. I brood, I think, I over-analyze.

I’m not a stream-of-consciousness talked, but I am learning to do that more often. It’s been a 2 decade plus long journey that I continue today.