Tag: life

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag. 

Today’s tip is to ask someone how they feel and really listen to their reply.

We’ve always had a lot of small talk or chitchat in American society. We say “how are you” not really looking for anything other than a “good” or “tired” or something simple. Not a detailed answer and many people don’t listen to the reply in depth.

A few years ago I decided that those interactions happen a lot, and I can’t get away from them, but I can listen more. Perhaps more importantly, I can take a few minutes with a few people, and really engage more directly.

I have continued to try and do that. I saw a friend recently at the ranch. I was busy, needing to get something done, but I hadn’t seen this person in awhile, so I stopped and just listened to them. Despite feeling pressed for time and a little put off, I focused on the conversation and went back and forth with them for a few minutes.

Ultimately, they looked more relaxed and glad that they had been able to unload on me a bit about life and the challenges under this mostly lifted, but still slightly weird pandemic life. I realized this was really 6 minutes, and didn’t affect my day that much.

A little patience was good for them, helped me learn to slow down a bit, and I got to reconnect with someone that I hadn’t seen in awhile.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag. 

Today’s tip is to be kind and supportive to everyone you interact with.

I don’t interact with a lot of people on a regular basis, living on a ranch, and staying at home most of the time. I do say hi, smile, and ask how people are doing when they visit, which is something I hope you all do when someone comes to your residence.

For me, it’s often at the gym or grocer that I run into people. I try to smile and greet them as well. Recently, however, I was camping, and I continued that. As I walked to the restroom from our site, I passed someone in the next site, smiled, waved, and said hi. Then I went further and ran into a family with small children camping. This was a mother and grandmother with younger children.

I greeted them, said hi, and asked how they were enjoyed their time. They were packing up and said it was fun, but they then mentioned they weren’t sure how to fold their tent and could I help. I said sure, but let me go to the restroom first.

I came back, chatted with them about my kids in scouts and how we fold up tents to get them back into the small carrying bags. I helped them get things packed up and ready to leave. They were nice, and it was a nice few minutes for me to be of service to others, meet some new people, and get some smiles.

Be kind and supportive. It’s not that hard, and it makes a big difference in someone else’s, and your, life.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag. 

Today’s tip is to send an uplifting message to someone you can’t be with.

This is something that has been helpful to me maintaining some friendships and closeness outside of my family during the pandemic. Just a week ago, I was thinking of a friend and sent them a message. This person lives far from me, and I can’t easily see them now. So I sent them a note that I was thinking of them and reminiscing of some good times in the past.

The responses back reminded me just how uplifting it can be to get a message from a friend.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag. 

Today’s tip is to be kind to yourself when something goes wrong.

I have been learning to be a lot better about forgiving myself during the pandemic. I realized during the last year that many things get out of my control, and I have to adjust my life, and accept that.

I still strive to move forward, to get stronger, smarter, more compassionate, etc. But I also have more acceptance when things don’t go well.

In the past year, I’ve had many plans fall apart. Some because of external changes, some because of me. As I get older, there are days that I’m a bit worn out, and I’ve tried to be kind to myself because I had to change plans. I’ve thrown out my back, and learned to not be mad at myself. I’ve accepted days when I’m sick or tired and can’t get something done.

Maybe the best example for me is that there are days my body is sore, or lacking energy. Some of these days I’ve schedule a yoga class (we’re still reserving space at my gym). I know I can’t always get through the class without a break, and I am kind to myself, not beating myself up when I’ve given a good effort, but just don’t have the energy.

It’s not an easy thing to do, but I’ve learned how to work hard, push myself, but accept when something has gone wrong, even if it’s only in my mind.