Tag: life

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag. 

Today’s tip is to notice when you’re hard on yourself or others and be kind instead.

This is one of those skills I’ve worked on for years, maybe a decade. I have tried to learn how to balance acceptance with drive. I want to accept, or maybe just experience, a situation where I am not achieving or accomplishing enough. I need to do this without suppressing my drive, but rather more realistically viewing situations.

I see many driven, type-A type people never willing to give up, and often chastising themselves to do more, to do better. Maybe the example for me that springs to mind if Michael Jordon. He’s amazing, likely the best ever, but a jerk. Not someone I’d want to emulate. I’d take a more balanced, a more polite approach instead.

I’d rather be Tim Duncan, if I were a high achiever. But maybe I’d just be happy being Luol Deng, a semi-successful player, but not a huge star, but a nice guy.

What I want to do is drive forward, in a way that balances all parts of my life with success. With my wife’s success. With the support and love I give my kids or friends. If I don’t accomplish something, I try to stop and realistically examine why.

It might be I had other commitments, or no energy (which happens a lot in 2020). It might be I chose to do something else and didn’t have time. It might be because I was just being lazy or not putting in effort.

The former items are places I give myself a big break. The latter, I try to think about how to do better, how would I do something different in the future in the same situation. I accept what happened, I experience it, and maybe feel disappointed, but I don’t chastise myself. I move forward.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag. 

Today’s tip is to do something helpful for a friend or family member.

This one is for my wife, her employee, my daughter, and for me.

I installed an electric winch last winter to raise and lower the arena door. We use this almost daily to move hay in and out.

Someone ran it too far and bent the drum axle. As a result, the winch didn’t work and I had to go out late one night, and hook up the manual winch again. A pain for me one night, but an ongoing pain for everyone.

It’s been broken for a week, and it’s been cold, so I haven’t worked on it. However, I ordered a new winch a few days back and when it arrived, I took a few hours to remount it and hook it up so that everyone can enjoy the convenience of electricity rather than the 70 turns the crank takes to open the door.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag. 

Today’s tip is to leave a positive message for someone else to find.

An unexpected note is something that can brighten someone’s day. If it’s a positive message, that is, and that’s the goal today.

One thing I do is keep chocolate around my house. My wife and daughter will have a craving periodically, usually every few weeks, and we’re not very close to any stores that sell chocolate they like. The cheap stuff at the local gas station doesn’t cut it. As a result, I keep a few bars around, usually hidden in the house.

My wife will ask me for some, but my daughter will just start hunting. I decided to not take a chance and just write a couple nice notes and tape them to the bars. That way the next time they find one (or I give them one), they get a surprise message.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag. 

Today’s tip is to support a charity, cause, or campaign you really care about.

I did this recently, when Jeff Atwood was raising money for the Georgia Senate races in the US. I donated, entered his contest, and won an iPad. I didn’t expect to win, and donated because I wanted to, but this was a bonus.

That inspired me to donate as well to Kiva. I’ve sent them money in the past, and did so again, giving them a little, and then lending out more to help others trying to grow their own businesses. I’ve had good luck with repayments, which let’s me lend again, but even when someone fails at their business, I’m glad I helped them make an attempt.