Tag: life

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to find 3 things you feel hopeful about and write them down.

Three things that make me feel good about life:

1. People are excited about live events. SQL Saturday New Jersey was a good sign.
2. My kids are coping better in the world this summer, which makes me feel good about things. They all see the world differently and are in different places in life, but all happy.
3. More opportunities for travel for my wife and I keep appearing, which makes me think the future will be better.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to identify what helped you get through a tough time in your life.

I’ve mostly had a good life, but there were definitely some tough times. However, what has helped me, or what I did to cope changed over time.

Earlier as an adult, I had financial struggles at times. I used stubbornness and persistence to make my way through things. I took two or three jobs to make ends meet and overworked myself. I know I’ve had more than my share of 100+hour weeks.

When I was struggling early in my first marriage, I went to counseling with my wife. I leaned on a therapist, first together, then on my own to help me come to terms with the need for a divorce.

When COVID hit, I found myself in a strange place. A telecommuter of 20 years that wasn’t used to being at home for months at a time. I leaned on my wife and kids to distract myself from the sameness. I also focused on cooking more food for the family, which was good. Unfortunately, I also drank too much alcohol while cooking. Luckily, I’ve gotten better and less drinking and healthier food as the pandemic stretched on.

Coping can change over time. What worked at one point in my life, might not work later, or might not be appropriate. I have tried to approach things this way, changing when needed: “strong opinions, loosely held.” When I need to change, I will.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.

I’ve been working on growing SQL Saturday back to a series of events that make the world better for data professionals. My business partners and I started this idea, grew it, and gave it to the PASS organization. When they failed, I got the new owners to donate it back to the community and it runs as a 501.c.3 US chartable foundation.

At the beginning of 2022, I was hoping for 10 events. Early in the year, I wasn’t confident about this. As of a couple months ago, I was confident in 10 and possibly more. Now, we’ve got 8 on the schedule and 4 completed. A couple more might come about.

There are two things happening now that I can’t change. One is that a few people are upset about SQL Saturday, mostly because of the mismanagement by the PASS organization. I’m working to change minds, but I also know I can’t get upset by their emotions and feelings. All I can do is show that I run the franchise differently and hopefully get them to realize that.

The second thing is that a few people are still nervous about events. That is understandable, and I have worked to remember that my view of the world isn’t more or less valid than theirs, and I need to work with them. I have learned to accept their decision not to run events if they are concerned.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to let go of something small bothering you and focus on something going well.

Most things that don’t go well in my life are small things. I am very blessed and I try to remember that on a frequent basis.

One small thing that’s bugged me lately is the struggle to get to a number of projects around the house and ranch that keep getting delayed. My wife has no shortage of things to do, and I have a number of projects that I want to finish, especially before winter.

An example is replacing a couple of posts that have broken and are (barely) holding up a gate. Started to dig out out, but paused since I wanted to cement both replacement posts in, and bad weather stopped me. I couldn’t get back to the work the next week, with too many things during the day and a few commitments at night that got in the way.

It’s hard, dirty work and just running out there for 15 minutes isn’t easy to do. I could go back to my desk in dirty jeans, but I’d prefer not to. As a result, this post is semi-replaced for over a week. Being out of town last weekend didn’t help. I started walking out there this weekend, but then it started raining. Just my luck.

I had a small medical procedure this week and I can’t exert myself for a week. So the posts are sitting there for now, while I heal. I’ve let this bug me, but really, I shouldn’t think this way. I should be pleased that I did get one post partially dug out, and I took a bit of time when I got home this weekend to do some chores for me daughter, who wasn’t feeling well. I did get things done, and this isn’t critical. The gate is rarely used, and I have gotten some more important things finished.

Ranch chores are going well. I need to remember that, even as I know there are other things yet to do on the list.