Daily Coping 29 Jul 2022

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to identify what helped you get through a tough time in your life.

I’ve mostly had a good life, but there were definitely some tough times. However, what has helped me, or what I did to cope changed over time.

Earlier as an adult, I had financial struggles at times. I used stubbornness and persistence to make my way through things. I took two or three jobs to make ends meet and overworked myself. I know I’ve had more than my share of 100+hour weeks.

When I was struggling early in my first marriage, I went to counseling with my wife. I leaned on a therapist, first together, then on my own to help me come to terms with the need for a divorce.

When COVID hit, I found myself in a strange place. A telecommuter of 20 years that wasn’t used to being at home for months at a time. I leaned on my wife and kids to distract myself from the sameness. I also focused on cooking more food for the family, which was good. Unfortunately, I also drank too much alcohol while cooking. Luckily, I’ve gotten better and less drinking and healthier food as the pandemic stretched on.

Coping can change over time. What worked at one point in my life, might not work later, or might not be appropriate. I have tried to approach things this way, changing when needed: “strong opinions, loosely held.” When I need to change, I will.

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