Tag: words

sayfish – n. a sincere emotion that seems to wither into mush as soon as you try to put it into words – like reeling in a shimmering beast from the deep only to watch it wriggle limply on the line, which makes you want to leave it down there, languishing unexpressed, where it’ll grow dark and slender and weird, with ghostly blue eyes and long translucent teeth.

That is an excellent description in a definition. A thing shimmering into mush as you look at it. I’m sure some movie has a great visual of this, but I think about something fading and dissolving as I focus on it.

I think I’ve sometimes had this emotion when I start to get annoyed or angry at someone (or a situation). As I start to process the emotion, it fades and disappears as I realize I’m being irrational.

Or more likely, I’m just hungry and over-reacting.

I don’t usually think it lingers or grows, but maybe I’m just repressing things. Who knows. Still a great definition.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

desanté – n. the brooding delirium of being sick, which makes time slow to a trickly and turns even the most pathetic of tasks into monumental struggles, until the act of lifting your head from the pillow feels like trying to climb a mountain, wondering if you’ll every find your way back again, or even catch your breath.

I had desanté when I caught COVID the first time. I struggled with energy, feeling incredibly listless and tired. At times I was fine, but at others, I collapsed into bed, not even wanting to lift my head to watch TV.

I also felt like this when I had the flu in 2005 or 2006. A miserable couple of days where I didn’t want to do anything by lay in bed, not read, not watch anything, just lay, suffer, and attempt to sleep.

However, most of the time I just keep going through colds, through strep, through various other illnesses. I struggle to sit still.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

insoucism – n. the inability to decide how much sympathy your situation really deserves, knowing that so many people have it far worse and others far better, that some people would need years of therapy to overcome what you have, while others would barely think to mention it in their diary that day.

I really struggle to think I deserve sympathy for the challenges I might face in life. I know that I am very lucky and blessed in life, without many of the struggles that people who have less than I experience. I know that most of the time I have #firstworldproblems, which aren’t really problems, but annoyances.

I needed ankle surgery a few years ago, but really, it wasn’t critical. I could walk, I could bike, I could do yoga inside and snowboard in the winter. I was in some pain, but it wasn’t really a problem that deserves much sympathy.

I ate and drank way tooooooo much during the pandemic. Changing those habits was a challenge, but it wasn’t something that I think needs sympathy.

I have some tough travel schedules at times. I’m returning from Kansas City this week, and in the last 5 weeks, I’ve been home for 6 nights. Some of that is vacation with my wife, but a lot of work and travel. I’ve covered easily 30,000 miles in that time. However, it’s not all a burden, and it’s my choice.

Some people might think that’s an easy life. Some might think this is overwhelming. I think on balance, I don’t have a lot of insourcism because I know that most of my situations don’t deserve sympathy.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

flichtish – adj. nervously aware how much of your self-image is based on untested assumptions about yourself – only ever guessing how you’d react to a violent thread, a sudden windfall, a huge responsibility, or being told to do something you knew was wrong..

I used to think I had all the answers and knew how I’d react to situations or what type of person I was.

I was a teenager. I think this view is fairly common among teenagers, but also in older people. I see too many people with confidence in how they’d react to an unknown.

And I see too often they don’t actually react that way. The more self-aware people recognize that their self-image was untested and wrong. The less self-aware people think the situation was an anomaly.

I know that until I walk a mile in my shoes in some situation, I’m very un-tested. I have a guess as to what my self-image is, but I doubt it is 100% true. As Mike Tyson says, everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth. Flichtish is a recognition of that saying.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows