Tag: words

midding – n. the tranquil pleasure of being near a gathering but not quite in it – hovering on the perimeter of a campfire, talking quietly outside a party, resting your eyes in the back seat of a car listening to friends chatting up front – feeling blissfully invisible yet still fully included, safe in the knowledge that everyone is together and everyone is okay, with all the thrill of being there without the burden of having to be.

I thinking I feel midding all the time, often with family or friends. My wife, my oldest, and some friends often talk a lot and dominate a conversation. I can be happy to be there, adding bits here and there, but often being a bit on the outside.

I see lots of tech professionals at conferences or user groups comfortable with midding, being around other conversations, perhaps standing near others, but not a part of the conversation. But still involved, trying to learn or glean some insight from what others are talking about.

I think midding is a nice community feeling, and the data platform world, at least in the Microsoft space, has been very open here. We welcome others to hang out and learn or listen or just be entertained. I think that’s great.

I also think that at least some of the time you need to leave behind the midding and actively engage in the gathering.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

povism – n. the frustration of being stuck inside your own head, unable to see your face or read your body language in context, only ever guessing how you might be coming across – which makes you think of yourself as a detached observer squinting out at a lushly painted landscape, though to everyone else you seem woven into the canvas.

That’s quite a definition. I know that many people aren’t aware of their body language or their expression. I know that watching myself in recordings has taught me to be aware of what I look like. However, before I did that, I didn’t realize how I reacted at times.

I see this often while coaching, and it can be hard to get players to realize their body language and expressions impact other players. Or the coaches.

I think I have some povism, and often would wish there were a monitor or mirror that helped me see what I look like. Easier to do on stage, but hard to do in life. Mostly, I can only reduce povism by asking my wife or kids to tell me when I am not projecting what I want.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

hiddled – adj.  feeling of loneliness of having to keep a secret to yourself.

I don’t know I am often hiddled. I don’t tend to keep secrets by myself. Often I do share with my wife, because it’s important to me to unload on someone, discuss something, or make them aware. That last one seems to be more important as I age.

That being said, if I didn’t share a secret, I would feel quite hiddled.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

bareleveling – v.  trying to improve yourself without anyone else knowing about it, afraid that they’ll think it’s silly or grandiose or unnecessary, or that they’’ll end up calling too much attention to your efforts, transforming a casual tweak into a flashy rebranding campaign.

I certainly engage in bareleveling. I bet a lot of you, especially musicians or singers, barelevel all the time. You practice and work, but don’t want anyone to know. I do that, though I’ve gotten better at playing my songs and not being too worried about how other perceive me. Having a guitar in the lobby of Redgate HQ has helped.

However, I’ve stopped short of traveling with a guitar. I might if it’s my wife and I, but if I have to present or visit a customer, I don’t want to be carrying a guitar around. Mostly I don’t want anyone to make a production or ask me to play when I might be focused on something else.

Hopefully you do some bareleveling in your career as well, though be sure you are getting some feedback from someone that ensures you’re improving in the ways that matter to you.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows