Tag: words

opia – n. the ambiguous intensity of eye contact

The entry for this says “so much can be said in a glance, “ which I think is very true. Most of the time eye contact is amazing. I think we can express a connection, a welcoming vibe, a neighborly willingness to talk.

I try to smile and make eye contact often in my travels. I feel this creates a more pleasant view of the world, and it often gets others to smile or at least grin. The same reason I wave to people often. They wave back.

I also wave to dogs and horses, though they don’t smile or wave back.

I think eye contact is mostly good, but I know it can be creepy. Certainly too many men stare at women, and there are those that project ill-will or bad intentions. I think we can sometimes wonder about an intense eye contact and the meaning behind it.

Casual eye contact, however, is something I think helps create bonds between us.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

moledro – n. a feeling of resonant connection with an author or artist you’ll never meet, who many have lived centuries ago and thousands of miles away but can still get inside your head and leave behind morsels of their experience, like the little piles of stones left by hikers to mark a hidden path through unfamiliar territory.

Moledro is something I get mostly from music. I’m less interested or thoughtful about most visual arts, though perhaps media counts. In any case, the poetry of some artists creates a connection with me that sticks with me.

A few examples:

• lately, Zach Bryan. his poems and songs connect with a younger version of my, full of hope, heartbreak, and silly youthful decisions.
• Bob Dylan, wanting a better world, and living a life that he enjoys.
• Prince, a man truly wanting to entertain and make music, but his own way. In many ways, we’re very different in how we approach life, but I feel this connection with someone that live his life as his career.
• Steven King – I wish I could write like him, or have the drive to do so, but I love his activism and opinions.

There are likely many more, but these stand out to me.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

the McFly Effect – n. the phenomenon of observing your parents interact with people they grew up with, which reboots their personalities into youth mode, offering you a glimpse of the dreamers and rascals they used to be, before you came into the picture.

I think this is interesting, and my kids likely experience this a bit since they’ve seen me with some people I grew up with. However, I don’t think I’ve ever experienced the McFly Effect because I have rarely seen my parents with anyone they grew up with.

I visited my Mother’s parents and family as a kid, but I barely remember that.  Since then, no contact as she is estranged from them.

My Dad was born in another country and I’ve only seen him with family, of which he is the oldest, so I don’t get any view into him as a younger person. He always seemed too responsible.

I wonder how many others find this to be an interesting feeling.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

mottleheaded – adj. feeling uneasy when socializing with odd combinations of friend and family, or friends and colleagues, or colleagues and family – mixing a medley of ingredients that don’t typically go together, which risks either watering down your identity into gray much or accidentally triggering some sort of explosion.

Mixing groups of people from different situations has sometimes been a struggle for me. I’ve felt quite mottleheaded at times when I have people I work with in coaching, at Redgate, and from friends/neighbors/family. It seems that they can be very different people.

I’m sure I’m overthinking this, but I’ve rarely invited different groups of people to the same place, precisely because I do worry that someone might not enjoy the time with those others. I know I’ve felt awkward at times at horse-related things for my wife. I don’t mind and am happy to support her, even if it’s strange for me.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows