Tag: words

ochisia – n. the fear that the role you once occupied in someone’s life could be refilled without a second thought, which makes you wish that every breakup would include a severance package, a non-complete clause, and some sort of romantic placement program.

I struggled with this one. I have had quite a few friends in the last few years that got divorced and my heart goes out to them. Some ended up in financial hardships, so oshisia seems like a poorly-timed joke.

However, I get the idea. I’ve been attracted to someone, enjoying the dating, and then had it end. I’ve also ended it. I get that there is not only the loss, but the anger, the sadness, the wandering, the fear that someone else can easily replace you.

I think many teenagers who’ve been in love go through ochisia at some point.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

skidding – v. intr. the practice of making offhand comments that sound sarcastic but are actually sincere and deeply felt.

I used to make lots of sarcastic comments. Some got laughs, some were appropriate, but most were a bad look for me and didn’t help any situation. Unless they were intentionally funny, and even then, I’m only lightly funny.

I’ve tried to avoid skidding with anyone these days, though I know I still do that. Rather than being sarcastic, I try to actually be sincere and heart-felt. I think it’s a better way to live life.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

bye-over – n.  the sheepish casual vibe between two people who’ve shred an emotional farewell but then unexpectedly have a little extra time together, wordlessly agreeing to pretend that they’ve already moved on.

I used to feel a bye-over was very awkward. I’d said goodbye, they had, and we’re delayed. I think the advent of Uber and similar services, where we wait more often on trips, has made it easier to say goodbye and then walk away a few steps to wait.

However, I would also say I’ve just learned to keep chatting with someone if there’s some delay, or even just come back and chat with others.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

feresy – n.  the fear that your partner is changing in ways you don’t understand, even though they might be changes for the better, because it forces you to wonder whether your relationship needs a few careful nudges to fall back into balance, or perhaps is still as stable as ever, but involves a person who no longer exists.

I used to experience feresy, worried that my wife, or even I, were changing in ways that might make us move further apart. Over time, I’ve learned that we both will change, and we have to accept the other will grow and change. They aren’t the same person we married, nor are they someone we can force to change in the way we want.

However, if there is a balance adjustment needed, we both know we need to communicate to ensure that we maintain a strong partnership. 

I don’t fear my wife not being the person she was because that person no longer exists.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows