Category: Blog

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to forgive yourself when things go wrong. Everyone makes mistakes.

This week has been a number of tips related to emotional growth, and this is one of them. It’s especially close to my heart right now.

Recently I got annoyed with my wife and snapped at her a bit. I played the childish “you do this, too” when she complained. We were mad for day or two, and then made up, but really, I was wrong. I let myself get upset over nothing, and then continued to let things grow, when I didn’t contain my emotions.

Perhaps worse, once we’d decided to talk again, I was beating myself up a bit for a couple days, which isn’t something I should do. That continues to make the issue about myself, and it isn’t helpful for me growing and learning how to better be in a relationship.

I thought about things a bit, I read a bit, and I’m working to let my mistakes go here, and at the same time try to avoid repeating them again.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to let go of self-criticism and speak kindly to yourself.

This is hard. Being critical and unsatisfied with how I do things have driven me to work hard and focus. It’s something that I think has been important for my success.

However. I am working to be realistic in criticism and not “beat” myself up or chastise myself. I’m learning to better accept the choices I make, listen to my mind and body, and accept the choices I make. Often, my self-criticism is something related to a choice or priority, and I need to evaluate it as such.

I’m also human and flawed. I make mistakes, I offend people, I snap at my wife and kids, and I certainly let emotions take hold of me at times. I’m working to accept mistakes, think about if I’d do something differently, recognize when something isn’t the priority I wish it were, and then move forward.

Try to stay positive, accountable for mistakes, but working to improve the future, not dwell on the past.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to find time for self-care. It’s not selfish, it’s essential.

I tend to put myself out for others, especially my family. I’ve been trying during the last year to take care of myself, which isn’t to be selfish, but to remember that there are times that I need a break, I need a change, I need peace, I need to listen to my body and mind.

I’ve done this a few times, not by doing something, but by not doing something. I was working on chores over the weekend, and didn’t get everything I wanted done, but I stopped at some point to give my body a break. I also had to tell myself in my mind that it was OK that I didn’t get everything done. I hadn’t cut the rear grass, so I let it go.

I did take a break from work on Tuesday morning for the 30 minutes it took to cut it.

I also cancelled a couple yoga classes in the last few weeks. I’ve been a bit busy, sore, and stressed, and while I enjoy yoga, I can do some at home. I’m a little easier on my body at home, I move slower, I don’t drive, and it’s relaxing.