Tag: coping

I’ve started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is to re-frame a worry and try to find a positive way to respond.

Today, I truly worry for the way forward in the US. I don’t think we’re headed for civil war, or anarchy, or the collapse of the economy, but I do worry that we continue to devolve into a place I no longer want to live.

I consider leaving the country more and more, something I hadn’t done before the last 2-3 years. Despite my differences with people, leaders, laws, systems, etc., I have often thought this was one of the best places to live.

In some ways, I still see that. I see tremendous creativity, activism, and effort from young people. In way that I only read about people in the 60s, and didn’t experience in my generation, I see changes and work in a younger one. I don’t always agree, but I appreciate their work.

In some sense, I miss the simple world before the Internet, but at the same time, I am constantly amazed by the way in which young and old people produce music, media, art, sports, and share with the world. They come up with things that never get through some committee or individual funding work.

I’m also amazed by the enthusiasm and creativity of technology professionals. Certainly dismayed and disgusted by many, but the people that build software, that try to make something useful, that compile and distribute data, they are doing incredible things.

All this gives me hope and positivity at a time when many things are not.

I’ve started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is to decide to look for what’s good, even on difficult days.

I’ve had a number of difficult days. Some days I think most people just suck. Some days, I look forward and think about how the world might improve over time.

It’s easy to nitpick and find fault. Find a complaint. We see it constantly in social media, where someone can find a reason not to like or appreciate what many others might.

These last couple weeks have been difficult in the US for me. As a minority, I find myself angry, sad, and generally upset. I disagree with some people over their views, their posts, their thoughts, but I also know some personally and I know they are good people.

Our small, personal world where we shake hands, toast over drinks, and share meals is far removed from the larger issues of race, ethics, business, and politics. I try to remember that disagreement is just that, a difference of how we view things. Maybe because of some fundamental reason, maybe because of ignorance of naivety, maybe because of our experience and frame of reference.

I can still appreciate and smile at my friends and colleagues for the things that they do well, the good, the respect, the favors, and the gentle way they behave in person.

Even if I think they do a poor job of expressing themselves at times.

Try to be a better version of yourself online, not a worse one.

I’ve started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is to look up at the sky. Remember we are all part of something bigger.

I am blessed in that I have a very wide open, beautiful sky where I live. Sometimes when I’m out at night, it’s amazing how many stars I see. During the day, there’s vastness as it stretches from horizon to horizon. Here’s a recent shot of how widely I can see.

I notice this, as it’s something I don’t get in NYC, London, or many cities, where buildings and narrow streets block views. The flatness of the land limits how far and wide I can look.

I think that sometimes is how I view the world, getting caught up in some situation, some problem, some challenge, and I think about things from a narrow point of view.

The world is amazingly large. Larger than most of us can imagine. The amount of people, land, money, resources, opportunities, challenges, difficulties, and more are huge. There is more that we are apart of than we can imagine.

If you have faith in a higher power, that’s another level that is worth remembering.

The world is bigger than any of us.

I’ve started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is find three good reasons to be hopeful for the future.

Reason 1 – Most people are recovering

One of the things that I haven’t seen often shown in various reports on data is how many people have recovered from the Coronoavirus. I know the more conservative people that I see post will point out that most people recover, and that’s true. It’s also true that a lot of people haven’t, and 99% recoverability is still a scary number. I coach kids on tournament days where there are often 100 people between athletes and coaches. If one of them died every tournament, I’d be devastated.

However, many people are recovering and that’s good news. I have no idea of this means some level of immunity, some herd protection, or anything else, but I am hopeful that this will mean the world will start to progress forward at some point.

Reason 2 – My family is coping

Selfish, but as we’ve gone through this, some of us leaning on each other, and getting closer, we’ve also been healthy and managed to find ways to still enjoy life. The hopeful thing for me is that we still have hope.

Reason 3 – I’ve Learned to Appreciate More of Life

My life is chaotic, and on the go. I flew over 100,000 miles in the air last year, spent many nights away from home, and enjoyed my adventures, many of them with family. I love the gym, I love coaching, and more.

These last few months have taken much of that away, with us mostly resigned to being at home and learning to be there all the time. There have been some hard days, and some difficult days for me, but I’ve learned I can cope and find ways to enjoy the changes in life.

I’m hopeful that no matter how the world looks for the rest of my life, I’ll find ways to enjoy it.