Tag: coping

Today’s coping tip is to write down three things you appreciate about yourself.

I don’t mind self-evaluation, but I struggle a bit to publicly talk about things I do well. Still, it’s a bit of coping for me to become more comfortable. Here goes:

• I work hard not to overcommit – I say no a lot which helps me to keep a lot of balance in my life.
• I focus on my health regularly, not obsessively – After running every day for over 4 years, I’ve learned to continue to try to work out more days, but not get worried over missing some.
• I can be extroverted – Not a lot, but I do well with audiences, presentations, talking in front of groups. It can wear me out and I need downtime, but I can do it. It’s made my life more interesting and fun.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQL Server Central newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s coping tip is to find a new way to use one of your strengths or talents.

I asked someone for strengths recently. Most of those items are things that I use regularly in the same way. However, I did use one in a new way recently.

I am a hugger. Usually it’s a hello or goodbye hug with friends. Sometimes it’s a sympathetic hug for family when they’re down or sad. Recently I changed that.

I was at the gym for yoga and another guy was there, venting a bit about some struggles with the instructor. I see him there often, and I’ve said hi, but I don’t know him well. However, it just occurred to me to say “sorry” and ask if he needed a hug. He looked at me a bit strangely, but said sure.

I gave him one of my strong, long hugs. I try to hug for at least 5 seconds, and often 10. If you’ve never hugged someone for 10sec, try it. It’s great.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQL Server Central newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s coping tip is to avoid saying “I should” and make time to do nothing, or do something fun.

I’m writing this ahead of time, and I am doing this. I’m prepping for travel and vacation, and I’m busy. Lots of deadlines and things to get ready. However, this is also a day that I can go see a kid play volleyball that I used to coach. It’s an indulgence, and rather than saying “I should work more”, I’m doing that.

Today in real life I’m at IDC London, so I’m commuting through London and giving two talks. Not a day to do nothing or something that might be fun.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQL Server Central newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s coping tip is let go of other people’s expectations of you.

I think in general I’m not too concerned about what other people think of me, or expect me to do. I do, however, think that I can be a role model to others. I run SQL Saturday, I speak, I run SQL Server Central, and I coach kids. Certainly my own children see how I live my life as well and may emulate some things.

That leads to some expectations, and some responsibility, so it’s hard to not feel the weight of those expectations.

I haven’t found a way to let go, but I do let my feelings wash over me and let them go. There are times I might do something I’m not proud of, or that I think isn’t in character. Maybe I’m tired, hungry, or out of sorts in some way and I do/say/act in a way that I think isn’t appropriate.

I’ve learned to accept I’ll make mistakes and also to not dwell on those. I am also learning to apologize more, which helps me with the letting go of the feelings I have after making mistakes.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQL Server Central newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.