Tag: coping

Today’s coping tip is to let go of self-criticism and speak to yourself kindly.

This tip follows on nicely from yesterday’s tip, just the other side of that one. I wanted to criticize myself recently for not having a bit more content prepped before my vacation. I was gone for 8 days, and while I had content scheduled for the time away, and for a day after I returned, I didn’t have any beyond that, which puts me in a bit of a crunch.

My career at SQL Server Central is running the site like a newspaper, which means things scheduled out a week or two in advance. Trying to pull content together a day or two before it’s needed is hard. It is also very stressful. I returned from vacation with 2 days of things, but not 4 or more, which meant that I needed to do some editing for articles and some writing for editorials.

Some weeks editorials flow and I can write 3, 4 or more. Others I struggle to produce one. I returned from vacation with 3 days to write an editorial or two (hopefully more) and relieve the stress.

I started to chastise myself for not having 1 or 2 more prepared for the next week and then stopped. That wasn’t helpful, and instead I decided to tell myself that I’ll come up with something interesting to say and just set aside some time to start writing.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQL Server Central newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to notice the things you do well, however small.

I think I have a lot of room for improvement, and it’s easy to self-criticize and find things that I ought to do better. As my wife would say, don’t should on yourself, and I try to follow this advice.

I do quite a few things well, some of which aren’t big, but they are helpful to others. I work very hard to meet deadlines, which means I also work to not overcommit myself. I practice my presentations a number of times to ensure I can deliver them smoothly and audiences enjoy the talk while learning something. I try watch for places that I can help others, both inside Redgate and in the community, looking to provide information that can clarify how some bit of technology works, and including references where possible.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to do something small, but different today to make yourself smile.

I’ve been working on my diet and health this year, focusing on a better diet, smaller portions, etc. It’s been good in a few ways, I’ve lost weight, I cook more and try new things, which the family is enjoying. Just last night I made a French Onion Chicken Bake, which replaced the previous Chicken Souvlaki as a favorite for one of my sons. I also did Sarah Leah Chase’s Scalloped Tomatoes, a new recipe and everyone enjoyed it.

In general, I follow a fairly narrow diet well, and I’ve gotten used to being a bit hungry after the gym and driving home rather than getting a snack in town. Quick snacks are rarely healthy, and cutting them out has helped.

However, I came out of the gym the other day after a mid morning workout. I needed to run a few errands, and while stopping for a black coffee, I decided to treat myself and walk next door for a breakfast burrito. There’s a new shop that my wife and kids love, and I’ve stopped there a few times.

A small thing, and I made sure to adjust the rest of my day not to add a bunch of calories, but it was a nice treat for me.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to encourage or cheer on someone younger than you without opinions, suggestions, or teachings.

This is hard. As a parent, I often want to offer suggestions on how things could be better. As a coach, it’s my job.

However.

I find that sometimes it’s just good to sit back, cheer, and watch. No opinion, nothing other than “good job” or “great”. It’s what I tell parents to do when they watch their kids play on my team.

This is a time of year I get to do that. I usually go watch the kids that I’ll coach over the winter when they play in high school. No comments, no coaching, no “do this”, just “it’s great to see you play.”

I’ve learned they have plenty of things they wish they’d done better. I’ll give them things in a few months, but for now it’s just cheering and clapping.