Tag: coping

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to have a friendly chat with someone you don’t know well.

In general, I don’t chit chat or strike up conversations. I go through airports and on planes with headphones doing my own thing.

However, there are times I will start a conversation. Recently I was at the gym for volleyball activities. It’s a new place for me, and I don’t know many other coaches. A lot of them are younger, and they will look at their phones when nothing is going on. Like a lot of younger people. And older people as well.

I greeted someone and got a hi back. I could have dropped things, but I asked a couple questions, talked about plans for the day, and got them to open up a bit. While I am introverted, part of what I enjoy about coaching is time with other coaches, tackling a similar challenge. It was a nice 5 minutes chat before we went to work.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to forgive someone who hurt you in the past.

Like many of you, I don’t always have many good interactions with others. Sometimes the way someone talks to me, or their actions, are hurtful. Easy to not show a reaction, but very hard to not feel one.

Years ago I applied to run for the PASS board of directors. I had an interview with a number of people on the board and it was a bit contentious. They elected to not place me on the ballot for elections, something that I still feel today was improper and and abuse of power.

For a few years, I didn’t talk to anyone on that board.

However, I’m a bit past that. What’s done is done, and despite my disagreement, I don’t harbor ill feelings, nor do I look for revenge or wish anyone to not do well that was a part of that group. I forgive them.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to notice when someone is down and try to brighten their day.

One thing I do like about social media is that people can vent and ask for support. I try to mostly look for pictures and celebrate life with others, but if someone is struggling, I do try to post something positive or send them a comment.

Recently I noticed a friend was a bit down. Having a hard time. I reached out privately, just to send my best wishes and offer to listen if they need to vent or talk. Usually when I do this, I let them know there is no need to reply.

Usually that gets me a heart or like, which is good for me, and hopefully good for them.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to give your time, energy, or attention to help someone in need.

I try to help others, in my field, kids in sports, my family, etc. I have mixed feelings about my efforts. They’re good, and they do help people, but in many cases these are people who aren’t really in need. Many tech professionals are doing well in the world. Most of the kids I coach are relatively privileged.

I do try to volunteer, so I’m scheduling a build day for Habitat for Humanity. I’ve volunteered for them before, and I had planned to do a day quarterly this year. Work and life got away from me early, then some health struggles in Q2. Some busy times, but I’m actually scheduling my time on 15 Sep to go work for them.