Tag: coping

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to make a resolution that you can keep this month.

Update: I wrote this before I went on holiday the last week of the year. However, I managed to tear a calf muscle and haven’t been able to do much. I’m going to need to delay this by a week and aim for Jan 10-Feb 10.

I’m not big on New Year’s resolutions. I think often we pick things are too hard to sustain across a year. I typically set some goals, but don’t look to make major changes.

However, focus is good, especially in this time of not really being in a familiar world. Many things are semi-normal for me, but plenty of things are not.

I’m going to resolve to do two things. First, weekly calls back home to my Mom. I don’t do that enough.

Second, I’m going to resolve to workout every day this month, barring injury. I like working out, and I find it keeps me feeling level headed. I’ve gotten close a few months, but I’m still often missing 7 or 8 days. I want to get back into the habit this month, knowing that I’ll miss some days, but hopefully less in 2022.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to call a relative who is far away to say hello and have a chat.

Too easy for me, as I usually try to call my Mom every week or two.

However, I did something different. I had sent a couple texts to my brother, and asked him for a call. He actually called me before I could do so, and we ended up chatting for a bit. I rarely see him or talk with him. He’s busier tham I am, and often hard to get ahold of, but it’s nice to catch up and talk a bit.

Looking forward to when I can get back to the East Coast and see him.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to bring joy to others. Share something which made you laugh.

I was lucky to be accepted to speak at the SQL Server and Azure SQL Conference recently. I went to Las Vegas for the event, and my wife joined me. (It’s coming back in the spring, if you want to go to a multi-tech conference).

While we were there, we went to a show one night, seeing a Nate Bargatze comedy show. It was extra special for me, as his Dad opened up for him. Nate talks about him in his first special, so when they said a special guest, I knew it was him. He was very funny, and Nate was incredible. I think this was the best comedy show I’ve ever seen live.

A quick teaser of his work. He’s on Netflix and touring now.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to choose to give or receive the gift of forgiveness.

This is a tough one for me. I don’t always accept when someone forgives me, even my wife. I usually continue to beat myself up. I don’t always forgive easily when someone has wronged me, or I feel wronged.

I’m learning to be better, and reminding myself to let things go. I don’t have anything right now to  let go, but I’m reminding myself of times past, which is a place that has been helpful to to remind me to forgive.

I didn’t get along with my father in my younger years. From 15-45, I never saw him. Finally I begrudgingly started to rebuild a relationship at that point. I learned to let things go and forgive him. I even learned to let past feelings go. I didn’t forget, but I wasn’t angry anymore. My one son met him and my wife spent a few evenings with him before he passes. I regret my other two kids not meeting him until his funeral.

It was a long, hard journey, but I think that has helped me learn to forgive many others and accept actions or behaviors against me that I don’t like. I still don’t like them, but I let them wash over me better and don’t hold (as many) grudges. I forgive quicker.