I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.
Today’s tip is to choose to give or receive the gift of forgiveness.
This is a tough one for me. I don’t always accept when someone forgives me, even my wife. I usually continue to beat myself up. I don’t always forgive easily when someone has wronged me, or I feel wronged.
I’m learning to be better, and reminding myself to let things go. I don’t have anything right now to let go, but I’m reminding myself of times past, which is a place that has been helpful to to remind me to forgive.
I didn’t get along with my father in my younger years. From 15-45, I never saw him. Finally I begrudgingly started to rebuild a relationship at that point. I learned to let things go and forgive him. I even learned to let past feelings go. I didn’t forget, but I wasn’t angry anymore. My one son met him and my wife spent a few evenings with him before he passes. I regret my other two kids not meeting him until his funeral.
It was a long, hard journey, but I think that has helped me learn to forgive many others and accept actions or behaviors against me that I don’t like. I still don’t like them, but I let them wash over me better and don’t hold (as many) grudges. I forgive quicker.