Voice of the DBA

Tag: Humor

  • Microsoft Exercise

    Have we got a deal for you! Microsoft is concerned about the health of your company and is doing something about it.

    There’s a trend in modern society of obesity, complacency, and general laziness. Not only does is this bad for society in general, but it also affects your health. So we have a new solution for you, designed specifically to combat this degenerative lifestyle in an easy way.

    The Upgrade Treadmill!

    Designed by the engineers up in Redmond, this highly engineered device ensures that you won’t sit around getting stagnant on those junky-technologies and deep-fried solutions. Instead we’ve built a system of carefully selected products released on a regular cycle that ensures you’ll be running for the rest of your career.

    And it’s easy to get started. Just call 1-800-SHARE-PRICE and enroll now in our assurance program. With a short lifetime and quick expiration, our automated reminders to your boss will ensure that you never slack off and slow down your pace of upgrades.

    It’s all in fun, but there’s some seriousness here. I originally wrote this awhile back when it seemed Microsoft was pressing for upgrades to SQL Server 2008 R2 after a relatively short development cycle post SQL Server 2008. However the piece got lost in the shuffle. I found it recently and was reminded of the sentiment when I saw a post to upgrade away from SQL Server 2005 with support ending.

    There are good reasons to upgrade; just be sure the reasons are valid for your instance and environment.

    Steve Jones

    The Voice of the DBA Podcast

    Listen to the MP3 Audio ( 1.8MB) podcast or subscribe to the feed at iTunes and LibSyn.

  • The Lineup

    Can you pick me out?

     

    lineup

  • The Geek Costume

    It’s Halloween, and while many of you are too old to dress up in a costume, some of you may be planning on joining your kids for trick or treating, or even attending a party of some sort. It can be fun, though I have to admit that I’ve rarely dressed up as an adult. However if my kid asked me to, as Patton Oswalt’s did, I’d probably join in on the fun.

    There are not shortage of fictional heroes available for us as geeks. Many of us have admired characters from the science fiction, comic, fantasy, and other worlds. The various SQL Bits conferences have included some great themes, with steampunk this year and the medieval theme last year. There was even a Jedi sighting on Pass TV last year.

    This week, with the holiday in full swing tonight, I wanted to ask you a question on which costume you’d pick. Whether you have one ready or not for tonight answer this:

    Which costume would you choose to dress up in for an event?

    It could be a character from fiction, or even a device of some sort. Maybe you want to use technology to build an awesome costume? While I’d be tempted by the Indiana Jones look, I think I might choose something in the Batman genre if I had to.

    Let us know this week what you’d pick, have a safe holiday tonight, and have a great weekend.

    Steve Jones

    The Voice of the DBA Podcast

    Listen to the MP3 Audio ( 1.9MB) podcast or subscribe to the feed at iTunes and LibSyn. 

  • What will you see at SQL in the City

    London, Oct 24, 2014

    Seattle, Nov 3, 2014

    Come join us.