Tag: life

I’ve started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is find three good reasons to be hopeful for the future.

Reason 1 – Most people are recovering

One of the things that I haven’t seen often shown in various reports on data is how many people have recovered from the Coronoavirus. I know the more conservative people that I see post will point out that most people recover, and that’s true. It’s also true that a lot of people haven’t, and 99% recoverability is still a scary number. I coach kids on tournament days where there are often 100 people between athletes and coaches. If one of them died every tournament, I’d be devastated.

However, many people are recovering and that’s good news. I have no idea of this means some level of immunity, some herd protection, or anything else, but I am hopeful that this will mean the world will start to progress forward at some point.

Reason 2 – My family is coping

Selfish, but as we’ve gone through this, some of us leaning on each other, and getting closer, we’ve also been healthy and managed to find ways to still enjoy life. The hopeful thing for me is that we still have hope.

Reason 3 – I’ve Learned to Appreciate More of Life

My life is chaotic, and on the go. I flew over 100,000 miles in the air last year, spent many nights away from home, and enjoyed my adventures, many of them with family. I love the gym, I love coaching, and more.

These last few months have taken much of that away, with us mostly resigned to being at home and learning to be there all the time. There have been some hard days, and some difficult days for me, but I’ve learned I can cope and find ways to enjoy the changes in life.

I’m hopeful that no matter how the world looks for the rest of my life, I’ll find ways to enjoy it.

I’ve started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is to think about how your actions make a difference for others.

We are all in this together. We may not agree, and we certainly may react and go about our days differently, but this pandemic has affected everyone and we are all living in a world that I wouldn’t have imagined on Jan 1.

I certainly could think about what I do that helps people. Part of this tip series and the Community Circle is that we are trying to help people.

However, I want to take something from Grant’s blog (Be Kind). I’ve written a few times about the topic, but we are all experiencing things differently. We have different circumstances, different ways our day has gone, different moods and emotions, different challenges. Or the same things at different times.

I’ve started to think more about my actions and how they might negatively impact others. I try to be more empathetic, understanding, and react less. As I write this, it’s just days after the death of George Floyd, a few more days since Ahmaud Arbery. I see lots of reactions from many people, and I find myself upset, saddened, angry, and more. I could be in that situation, and I’ve been careful and lucky not to be in those situations.

However, I also know my actions might not make anything better, certainly not for most people I might engage with. I don’t need to add more discord to this situation, and I certainly could make things worse for others.

I don’t mean to focus on these situations, but on the main interactions I have with people at work, in this limited society, even with family. My roller coaster of emotions and coping can affect others, and I try to remember that. I try to temper myself and aim to be pleasant, respectful, and understanding.

More and more, I just try to follow Wheaton’s Law. It’s not that hard most of the time, and when it is, it’s worth making the effort.

I’ve started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Tell someone about an event in your life that was really meaningful.

I’ve been lucky enough to have a very rich and exciting life. Certainly less eventful than others, but also more full than some. I don’t know I’ve had any amazing experiences, but I have had moments that have touched me and stick with me.

I was always a fairly shy kid. I didn’t do much in groups, hated speaking in front of my class for any presentation, and often interacted with only a couple friends at a time. Quite a change from today when I look back at things.

During high school, I enjoyed music, saw many concerts, and learned to play guitar. Eventually I formed a band with a few friends. Somehow, and I’m not sure how, near the end of my senior year, our band was given the chance to play a couple songs for the school, in the gym. I’d played in front of crowds, always nervous, but since I knew few people, this wasn’t too bad. It was also a few dozen people. I was much more anxious about playing in front of my classmates, over 800 of them.

I did it, and things went well, though this was a punk/alternative style band and I think a few of my teachers were shocked.

I survived, and didn’t have to deal with too many comments as this was just a few days before school ended. However, it was an event that stuck with me, helping me to learn that being in front of people wasn’t the worst thing in the world. This was really the first big event for me, even though I didn’t have to speak.

From here, I went on to be better speaking in front of classes in college, bartending and talking with strangers, and eventually to where I am today, giving presentations in front of small and large crowds on a regular basis.

I’ve started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is today link your decisions and choices to your purpose in life.

What’s my purpose in life. I think it’s to be a great partner, help others where I can, and improve my skills in (and outside) of my career for myself. Maybe a bit selfish, but those are what I think.

For the most part, these things drive my life. I work to have a strong marriage, and often give as much as I can for my wife. One of the reason’s I’ve continued to work with SQLServerCentral and Redgate is that this supports my wife in her self employment. Rather than try to be more like a Brent Ozar, whose had amazing success in his career field, I’d rather do the things that provide stability.

I do enjoy those things, so it’s not a great sacrifice.

My mission at SQLServerCentral has always been to help others be better at their jobs. I think about that often as I work through the management of the site. It’s a guiding principle for me, and I think my decisions about the site are with this in mind. I may not always do the best job I can, and I do sometimes beat myself up about that, but I am to help others.

That’s also a part of why I coach. It’s a way to give back and help others grow up. I may do more volunteering, especially if my schedule continues to be strictly at home, since I do believe in giving back to the world.

Lastly, I continue to work on improving myself. I exercise and try to take care of my body. I practice guitar. I try different things in the kitchen. I work on different projects around the house, and I’m trying to do a bit more woodworking. None of these things pay a bill or do more than satisfy my soul, but that’s a part of my purpose.