Daily Coping 2 Jun 2020

I’ve started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is to think about how your actions make a difference for others.

We are all in this together. We may not agree, and we certainly may react and go about our days differently, but this pandemic has affected everyone and we are all living in a world that I wouldn’t have imagined on Jan 1.

I certainly could think about what I do that helps people. Part of this tip series and the Community Circle is that we are trying to help people.

However, I want to take something from Grant’s blog (Be Kind). I’ve written a few times about the topic, but we are all experiencing things differently. We have different circumstances, different ways our day has gone, different moods and emotions, different challenges. Or the same things at different times.

I’ve started to think more about my actions and how they might negatively impact others. I try to be more empathetic, understanding, and react less. As I write this, it’s just days after the death of George Floyd, a few more days since Ahmaud Arbery. I see lots of reactions from many people, and I find myself upset, saddened, angry, and more. I could be in that situation, and I’ve been careful and lucky not to be in those situations.

However, I also know my actions might not make anything better, certainly not for most people I might engage with. I don’t need to add more discord to this situation, and I certainly could make things worse for others.

I don’t mean to focus on these situations, but on the main interactions I have with people at work, in this limited society, even with family. My roller coaster of emotions and coping can affect others, and I try to remember that. I try to temper myself and aim to be pleasant, respectful, and understanding.

More and more, I just try to follow Wheaton’s Law. It’s not that hard most of the time, and when it is, it’s worth making the effort.

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