Tag: words

proluctance – n. the paradoxical urge to avoid doing something you’ve been looking forward to – opening a decisive letter, meeting up with a friend who’s finally back in town, reading a new book from your favorite author – perpetually waiting around for the right state of mind, stretching out the bliss of anticipation as long as you can.

Sometimes the anticipation of something, good or bad, is more impactful than the thing. I certainly can understand not wanting to take a call or open a letter because the result might not be positive, or what I wanted.

The one place I certainly see this is with books. I have a few authors that I just buy their new books, often pre-ordering them. Lee Child is one and I often pre-order his books weeks or months in advance. However, when they come, I don’t always start reading them.

Sometimes I might be in the middle of something else, but quite a few times I’ve saved the book for my next long flight. I tend to take a 4+ (or often 8+) hour flight every quarter, so I’ve saved a few books until I knew I’d be stuck in a seat. In fact, the latest one, The Secret, was one of those. It came in late Oct 2023, and I knew I had a few trips scheduled in the next few weeks, so I delayed reading this until I was headed to the PASS Summit in November.

To help build my own anticipation and feed my proluctance, I re-read a couple of his older books in the meantime

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

maugry – adj. afraid that you’ve been mentally deranged all your life and everybody around you knows, but none of them mention it to you directly because they feel it’s not their place.

I don’t know that I quite feel maugry, though I certainly sometimes wonder if I view the world much differently (and strangely) than others. I certainly think in polite society that others often won’t point out something that others do or say that is very strange.

I also like to think that often I have lots of empathy and understanding of how others view the world, though maybe that means I am actually deranged from others’ point of view and I should feel maugry.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

wellium – n. an excuse you come up with to rationalize a disappointing outcome – telling yourself that you weren’t in the mood for that sold-out show anyway, that your safety school is actually a better fit, that your dream job might have been too stressful.

I come up with wellium all the time. I think it’s a very human reaction to try and make yourself feel better with some justification of why you are OK something didn’t work out.

As I’ve gotten older, I do try to just feel bad or disappointed, and then move on. I tell myself that often decisions made by others aren’t necessarily a rejection. Often it can be a preference for something else, or the competition was better.

It’s OK if others beat you at something if they’re better. That’s what we all want from competitive situations in sports, in jobs, in music. If they win, they win.

Hopefully that also spurs you to learn to be better.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

tarrion – n. an odd interval of blankness you feel after something big happens to you bt before you feel the resulting emotional reaction – stunned by a sudden loss, a stroke of luck, or an unexpected visitor – like those tension-filled seconds between a flash of lightning and the thunderclap that follows..

I don’t have a lot of big things happening in my life. No great joys, but not great sorrows (usually). However, I know I’ve had this a few times. I had one last year, which I don’t want to disclose, but I got some news and I missed the next few sentences. I was stunned, and didn’t know how to react. A few seconds later the emotion hit me.

This seems like a very common reaction to big news, and while I appreciate the excitement for some things, I’m glad I don’t feel tarrion too often with sad news.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows