wellium – n. an excuse you come up with to rationalize a disappointing outcome – telling yourself that you weren’t in the mood for that sold-out show anyway, that your safety school is actually a better fit, that your dream job might have been too stressful.

I come up with wellium all the time. I think it’s a very human reaction to try and make yourself feel better with some justification of why you are OK something didn’t work out.

As I’ve gotten older, I do try to just feel bad or disappointed, and then move on. I tell myself that often decisions made by others aren’t necessarily a rejection. Often it can be a preference for something else, or the competition was better.

It’s OK if others beat you at something if they’re better. That’s what we all want from competitive situations in sports, in jobs, in music. If they win, they win.

Hopefully that also spurs you to learn to be better.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows