Voice of the DBA

Tag: life

  • Daily Coping 14 Jul 2021

    I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag. 

    Today’s tip is to get outside and move to help clear your head.

    I was a bit overwhelmed recently. Yesterday’s tip gives a few reasons, but there were others, and I had to lay down and try to relax one night, begging off from some plans and asking my wife to cancel things.

    I had things to do the next day, and started to make a list, but my wife suggested we skip some of these chores and go for a hike. It was one of the few times all kids were here, and nothing was so important that we couldn’t delay it, so we ended up taking a few hours, heading to a nearby park, and enjoying life for a bit outside. It was nice to think, walk, chat with family, and enjoy the day.

    Need to go out walking more.

    Plus, nice views.

    20210705_125303

  • Daily Coping 13 Jul 2021

    I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag. 

    Today’s tip is to write down some worries and save them for a specific worry time.

    I’ve been under a bunch of stress from managing lots of little things, both in life and at work. There are a few nagging things, but I’m going to drop them here and let them go for now. I’ll pick them up another day with my wife or my boss.

    • Deciding on how to finish a home renovation project (we have a small part to do)
    • Finding time to rebuild a garage shelf area to make room for something
    • Dealing with an outside contractor that isn’t as responsive for a work thing
    • A cash crunch coming up in a month or so and how to move the budget around
    • My ankle, which doesn’t like to hike more than about an hour
    • Getting a kid ready to drive cross country

    There are more, but I’m letting these go as they aren’t important this week, and we can deal with them in a week, or maybe this weekend, but not today.

  • Daily Coping 12 Jul 2021

    I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag. 

    Today’s tip is to look for something positive in a difficult situation.

    My life is mostly great, and I feel strange complaining or getting upset about things. In general, my difficult situations are merely uncomfortable or annoying, and I try hard to remember that.

    Difficulties are relative, and for me, I had a tough time with a bunch of things breaking at home. During a busy time, with lots of other commitments, I needed to stop and rebuild a hub on a trailer. It gets used every day, and I had a choice between rebuilding the exploded one, or adding some supports and bracing to a 2nd trailer. Neither was quick.

    I was a little annoyed when I went out to see this, but then stopped to revisit how I looked at the situation. No one did this on purpose, it’s the way things go in the real world, and I know how to do this. While I was grumpy with a few people as I started, I managed to take a positive outlook on this as I got into it.

    I got to practice a few skills:

    • quickly removing the old hub bearing race with a specialized tool
    • grinding down the axle where it was slightly deformed
    • taking a break to get a new set of bearings
    • using my experience to reassemble the wheel in about 40 minutes
    • Not bending (too much) the hub cover tapping it back on.

    All in all not what I wanted for the day, but it was fine. I got a few other things done, and got to teach a few people how to prevent this in the future.

  • RIP Brian Moran

    When someone older than you dies, it’s sad, though I feel that I can cope. I hold memories dear, I appreciate the time I had with an individual, and I hope I can live as long as they walked the Earth.

    If someone younger dies, it’s truly shocking. After being stunned, I often stop and appreciate where I am in life, and that I’m still here.  A phrase runs through my head:

    There, but for the grace of God, go I.

    I’m not a religious person, but that phrase sticks with me. I am lucky to be where I am. I’m lucky to have had good fortune, and that my bad fortune hasn’t been catastrophic.

    Today I got a note from a friend. He told me that Brian Moran (t, st, mvp, li)  had passed away. Brian was a wonderful man, someone I’ve known close to 20 years. We worked in the same field, we were fellow speakers at events, and we’ve had numerous phone calls at times trying to find ways to work together in business. He was a big part of the PASS organization, of supporting SQL Saturdays, and helping grow the SQL community larger and stronger.

    He is one of maybe a few dozen people in my professional life whose partner I’ve met, who’s met my wife, who I’ve had talked with while at home, and who loved Hawaiian shirts like me. We have daughters the same age, and we’ve shared many conversations over the years. We weren’t that close, but we respected and enjoyed each other’s company often. One of the relatively few people I’d stop and have an extended conversation with when we were together.

    I have no details on what happened, and my heart goes out to his wife and family. It’s a stunning day, and as pat of my job, I’ll update a memory a sqlmemorial.org next week. One of the harder posts that I’ll have to write.