It’s T-SQL Time again, and this time it’s #38, from Jason Brimhall (b | t | li). The topic this month is Standing Firm. You are supposed to look at any of these words, and write something that fits with one of them.
This is the monthly blog party, with each month hosted by someone in the SQL Server community. To participate, just write a blog post on the top, include the logo, and link to Jason’s invitation.
I decided to write about being Resolute.
Admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering.
(from the Googles)
One of the things that I’ve found in my career is that so many people are unwilling to stand up for what is important to them. They’ll argue points, they’ll debate about what is better or worse, but ultimately they are often afraid to make a stand for things that are important for their own personal well being. It’s not even the things that they feel strongly about that they give in to, often it’s subtle pressure from managers, from peers, or from the community to act, say, or do certain things.
In short, they can’t say no.
Most of us like to please others. We want to do a good job. We want others to like us, and we want to solve problems. We want to get things done and be seen as a positive part of the community.
That’s good, and I admire that. I also know it’s not sustainable. As humans, we need flex in our lives. We need some down time to compensate for the busy times. We need practice time in between learning times. We need balance.
One of the hardest things I’ve learned to do in my career is say no. I learned it’s important from Andy Warren, and this part year I’ve finally felt like I can comfortably say no. I can say “no” to more work. I can say “no” to another opportunity for a client or job. Most importantly, I can say “no” to myself, when my goals, ambitions, and desires greatly impact my family, my wife, or my opportunity for downtime.
I would urge you to learn to say no. It’s harder than you think, and it takes practice. However learning to stand up for the balance in your life is important to your long term career, health, and enjoyment of life.