I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.
Today’s tip is to listen deeply to someone and really hear what they are saying.
I find many people like to talk and really just give me a chance to speak in between the things they want to say. I also find that lots of people that appear to be listening are in their own happy place.
I also find I’m not always much different. Sometimes I find myself already starting to respond in my head to what someone has said, and I’m not listening.
However, as I get older, I am trying to do better. I recently had the chance to go out to dinner with some friends, and I made it a point to really listen to them, and hear what they were telling me about their life and kids. Rather than thinking what I might say, I focused on them. I am really making an effort to focus, and if I think of something to say, I try to ignore it and put it out of my mind.
That means I sometimes end up pausing slightly before I say anything, but I think that’s good.
I’m also doing this with my wife. Put down my phone, turn away from the computer, focus on her when she takes a moment to talk to me.