I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.
Today’s tip is to let go of self-criticism and speak kindly to yourself.
This is hard. Being critical and unsatisfied with how I do things have driven me to work hard and focus. It’s something that I think has been important for my success.
However. I am working to be realistic in criticism and not “beat” myself up or chastise myself. I’m learning to better accept the choices I make, listen to my mind and body, and accept the choices I make. Often, my self-criticism is something related to a choice or priority, and I need to evaluate it as such.
I’m also human and flawed. I make mistakes, I offend people, I snap at my wife and kids, and I certainly let emotions take hold of me at times. I’m working to accept mistakes, think about if I’d do something differently, recognize when something isn’t the priority I wish it were, and then move forward.
Try to stay positive, accountable for mistakes, but working to improve the future, not dwell on the past.