Today’s coping tip is to be gentle with someone you feel inclined to criticize.
It’s very easy, and maybe very human, to start to criticize others for doing something we wouldn’t do, or at least, something we don’t think we’d do. I sometimes wonder if we are much more likely to do this with people close to us than those we know less well.
My kids are adults now, and they are in charge of their own lives. They make mistakes, as I do, and there are times that I want to point out they could do better, or take other advice, or something else.
I am learning not to do that. One of my kids did something that cost them more money than they expected. They were upset, and it would have been easy for me to criticize the action. Instead, I have been working on being sympathetic, listening, and asking what they think or what they do. Let them work through it without me trying to solve the problem, take responsibility, or criticize.
I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQL Server Central newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.
Criticism is easy, it comes naturally unfortunately where as being complimentary when its not some you pursuing romantically is a lot harder.