vicarous – adj. curious to know what someone else would do if they were in your shoes, eager to watch another actor put their own spin on the character of YOU – carrying your body differently, speaking in a tone you never use, saying and doing things you didn’t even know were an option – a performance that might well end in disaster but would at least remind you that there are many different ways to play this role, even though you tend to assume you’re just reading the lines as written.

I am not an actor. I haven’t participated in theater or movies, though I have learned a bit about what it’s like from various presentations, promotions, and interviews I’ve done. While I’m always me, I don’t always feel as happy as I may appear.

That being said, I do think that I am just reading my lines by being me. My approach to life and work changes over time, somewhat like a rewrite of a character in a show, but these are the choices I make for a better life, career, relationship, whatever.

I don’t usually wonder how someone else might approach my life, though certainly I do wonder if others might perform better in things I do at work. Or coaching. I think about how another presenter might deliver my talk, or

I sometimes wish I were a better character in my personal life, but I don’t ever think about someone else would play my role. That feels too weird.

I mostly think about how I could learn to be better by watching someone else play their role.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows