Daily Coping 21 Jul 2022

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to write down your worries and save them for a “worry time.”

There are plenty of things I worry about. Perhaps not as many as others, but I do have concerns and anxiety about different things in my life (work, family, friends, world, etc.).

One of my concerns is with the data community, speakers, and diversity. I worry about this in many facets and am unsure of how to move forward or what to do.

Rather than be concerned, I make some notes, I chat with people about ideas, and I slowly think about it over time. But, I set aside some time to worry about it and let it go most of the time.

Most of the time that works. Not always, but most of the time.

About way0utwest

Editor, SQLServerCentral
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2 Responses to Daily Coping 21 Jul 2022

  1. Larry Blake says:

    I also write down my concerns, so that I can find them later. I don’t understand what you mean by “worry time” though. Can you give an example of what that looks like?

    Like

    • way0utwest says:

      Sorry for the delay, Larry. Busy and traveling, no worry time.

      For me, I interpret the worry time as putting aside the issue until I have better focus, or am better able to deal with the issue. As a few examples:

      I’ve got a presentation coming up that has been accepted, but I haven’t completely written. This happens regularly and so I deal with it all the time. I’ve got other work to get done, and personal challenges, so I make a note about the talk, set a reminder, and then stop worrying about it. I do my best to just remind myself that I’ll deal with my concerns in a week. This does pop up in my mind, but I try to keep reminding myself to let it go until the time.

      I do have children, although they are adults. My one child was going to drive home from college this summer by themselves. My Mom kept mentioning this when we talked and I’d tell her it would be fine and not to worry. that caused me some worries, but I added it to a list and kept telling myself to not worry about it. However, I did set a time to worry about this, think about the route, the challenges, keeping in touch, etc. A few weeks before, my wife and I talked about the things that bothered us, we made a plan with my kid, we set up times to check in, set up Google Maps tracking for a mobile device and more.

      We can’t control our minds completely, and worries will intrude in, but I work to push them down, knowing that I have dedicated a time, essentially a meeting, that is when I’ll deal with them.

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