Voice of the DBA

Today’s coping tip is let go of other people’s expectations of you.

I think in general I’m not too concerned about what other people think of me, or expect me to do. I do, however, think that I can be a role model to others. I run SQL Saturday, I speak, I run SQL Server Central, and I coach kids. Certainly my own children see how I live my life as well and may emulate some things.

That leads to some expectations, and some responsibility, so it’s hard to not feel the weight of those expectations.

I haven’t found a way to let go, but I do let my feelings wash over me and let them go. There are times I might do something I’m not proud of, or that I think isn’t in character. Maybe I’m tired, hungry, or out of sorts in some way and I do/say/act in a way that I think isn’t appropriate.

I’ve learned to accept I’ll make mistakes and also to not dwell on those. I am also learning to apologize more, which helps me with the letting go of the feelings I have after making mistakes.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQL Server Central newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s coping tip is take your time. Make space to just breathe and be still.

An easy one today. I’m relaxing in Venice with my wife, and likely no real plans. I’m just wandering around.

We did this in Hawaii this summer, enjoying the beach and just sitting on the beach and looking, or floating in the ocean. Not talking, no agenda, just breathing and letting my mind wander.

I need to do this a bit more often on work days as well. It’s a good coping mechanism.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQL Server Central newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s coping tip is to enjoy photos from a time with happy memories.

On vacation today in Venice, so I ought to get more, but I’ve started to put some memorable phots on my lock screen and wallpaper of my mobile. I tend to pick pictures of my wife and I’ve used these recently:

Bonus points if you guess the locations.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQL Server Central newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.