Daily Coping 16 Apr 2020

I’ve started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.

Today’s tip is to put your worries into perspective and try to let them go.

Easier said than done.

Much easier said than done.

I think part of the problem for me is that I’m just always on uneven footing. One day I think things are fine, the next I wonder if the world is really going to crash around me.

I really, really try hard to keep things in perspective. Getting to talk to other people has been good. We had a great, 4-5 person call for T-SQL Tuesday Live this week, and apart from some technical discussions, we got to help each other keep perspective on the world as it is today.

Which is vastly different from two weeks ago, even more different from Mar 1, and an almost indescribable different from last September.

Putting things into perspective is hard. As an example. I go to the grocer every 3-4 days, mostly to get more fresh fruit and veggies. Since Mar 15 or so, every time I walk into the store, I feel like I’m getting sick. My throat starts to feel dry or sore. My nose might run. Eyes itch more. I feel like I’m breathing thick, germ filled air. It’s eerie.

I leave, and I mentally chastise myself for the silliness.

I’ve started wearing a bandana, and I’ve felt slightly better, but still it’s disconcerting, and all in my head. I tell myself to keep perspective, but I still struggle.

Writing this helps. Maybe it helps some of you. Maybe you can say something that helps me, other than “just stop.” I don’t need that and neither does anyone else right now.

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6 Responses to Daily Coping 16 Apr 2020

  1. Brian Kallion says:

    One thing I’ve done, and it’s really hard to tell who’s done this and who hasn’t, is to just force myself to reframe my new reality. I drove by a Costco parking lot this morning and the lineup outside was insane, it reminded me of a lineup for a popular rollercoaster. And I started thinking about what going to Costco USED to be like, but I manually stopped myself from thinking that way. I find if I think too much about how things used to be, it makes the current reality feel a LOT more stressful. But by stopping the thought process, and accepting that the lineup was insane, it only left a little bit of stress behind. And that difference in stress levels can add up as the days and weeks add up. So it just feels like it kinda sucks instead of feeling like a disaster, even though the truth is somewhere in between.


    • way0utwest says:

      That’s a good point, and I think it’s helped me. I initially felt in mid March when CO shut down that this was like a blizzard and I needed to get through a week. Accepting a new reality does help, a little. Still struggling with the lack of society


  2. paschott says:

    It would be great if we could tell ourselves to “just stop” when we’re really worried about something. I’ve never seen that work, though. Felt it when the questions arose of “what will I do without a job” or “a family member is struggling and I can’t help”. These days it’s so incredibly easy to focus on all of the bad news – because there’s so much of it. While not downplaying the seriousness of what’s going on, I’ve also chosen not to focus on the worst of the news. Seeing the better news out there has helped put things in perspective.


    • way0utwest says:

      My wife looks at lots of news, trying to stay informed, but it’s also stressful. I try to avoid most news, and look for good things. I also let her or others vent, and listen. I know I need to do that sometimes, and it helps to just get it out a bit at times.

      I agree, I can’t just stop. Like the “just say no” of my childhood, it’s not a practical idea.


  3. Jane says:

    I’d suggest that you cut down your grocery shopping, try to buy a lot that it can last 2 or 3 weeks. and then have some self-treatment like vitamin C, D,E ready at home. That’s how i feel less worried. I know it’s hard not to check the news because we need to be informed and being connected with the world during the lockdown. I try to limit my time on social media or news for like twice a day. that’s it. the rest of my time is to do work for my employer, cooking, some gardening and reading a book.


    • way0utwest says:

      Thanks, but we eat a lot of fresh stuff, and don’t want to stop that. I think that’s a different problem I’d like to avoid. I have been getting better at avoiding news, unfortunately my wife doesn’t, so I’m slightly stuck. Still, trying different things has been helping.


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