Voice of the DBA

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag. 

Today’s tip is to focus on being kind rather than right.

There’s a tendency to be right, correct, to do what’s best. That might be true for many people and situations, but it’s certainly something I see technical people doing a lot, sometimes (over) arguing or pushing some point without regard to others’ feelings and the impact you have.

I appreciate that sometimes the architecture, the code, the approach really matters. It impacts how our systems work, the costs or our company, and more. However, I also think that we can often debate and discuss in a kinder way.

I’ve been working on trying to move SQL Saturday and events forward in many ways. At Redgate, with partners, with people in the community. I think I’m right to preserve and push the brand, but I recognize that I need to do so positively and not push/press/say I’m right here. I need to be kind and positive.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag. 

Today’s tip is to send an encouraging note to someone that needs a boost.

Many people I know have coped pretty well through this pandemic, but I also know that many people don’t want to share difficult times. I’ve reached out regularly to different people, sometimes just to say hi or check on them.

Recently I just reached out to an old friend, just to tell them I’d enjoyed something they’d posted recently and appreciated it. This, for someone that I’ve seen struggle a bit recently with a few things in their life.

They thanked me, and I hope it gave them a boost.

I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.

Today’s tip is to when you’re frustrated with someone, take a moment and see things from their perspective.

I am pretty easy going, and I tolerate a variety of reactions from people. I don’t get too upset, and as I get older, I very much appreciate other perspectives.

The last month, with the failure of the PASS organization and then Redgate’s purchase of the assets, has been hard. It’s been hectic, it’s been stressful, and it’s been confusing because the entire sale came together quickly.

In that time, I know there are people whose feelings were hurt, who don’t trust Redgate, or that feel this was a problem. I have had to deal with some of those people, and I’ve certainly felt attacked, berated, and maybe worse, just ignored.

However, I have tried not to get too upset. Or really, remain upset. Instead, I’ve tried to look at things from their perspective, try to understand, and then see if I can work towards a way forward that people would appreciate.

It somewhat works.

I also still feel a bit down about this whole situation.